(((Drew)))

(((Sean)))

Y'all, it's been such an awesome read catching up. I just had a reminiscent flash of talk before the DC F2F, in which I made the comment that if anybody wanted me I'd probably be hanging out in the stairwell. The count of stairwell hangers-out grew until there was a huge crowd of introverts hiding from the ...scary crowd of people. We've moved on from stairwells, I reckon.

I am just enchanted with the idea of Dylan and Matilda being watched over by David, with Deb and Cash visiting, and, oh guys. This is just such a wondrous thing we got here. I haven't been drinking tonight (more's the pity), but I love you all, man.

Also, my doctor does believe I gain weight on a 600 calorie/day diet. Which is why I have to tote the damn earth around on my shoulders eight or nine hours a day to drop a pound here or there. You damn skippy bodies and metabolisms differ. And yes, any overweight person who *dares* to eat in public has to expect disapproving stares from "normal"-weight people. Even if what you're eating is twigs and leaves.

And yes, any overweight person who *dares* to eat in public has to expect disapproving stares from "normal"-weight people. Even if what you're eating is twigs and leaves.

My (not) favorite occasion that's similar to that? Grocery shopping. If I have anything in my cart that isn't lettuce, I get the "What do you expect? Look at her!" attitude from people. If I *do* have only lettuce (and similarly "healthy" food), I get the attitude of "Well, she must buy her Twinkies from the quickie mart."

(And I dislike Twinkies, for the record.)

Oh, shit Drew. So much ~ma to you, Kristin, and your whole family.

On the weight issue. I was a skinny bean until I had the encephalitis. When my doctor discovered that the encephalitis had left me with seizures, she started me on Depakote, which never really absorbed into my blood, so she kept raising the dosage. I gained 40 pounds in six weeks. I've never been able to get back down. And I've been on other meds that have made weight-loss difficult. My doctors usually understand that. But, I also have diabetes ALL OVER my family, so it is a big concern. So, we keep working on my weight. Though, no one harps on me about it. I more harp about it, so no one else needs to.

I'm gonna have to start eating better again, though. Since CBD came into my life, I've been eating whatever he eats, and that's not gonna keep working. He's a meat and potatoes kind of guy. He's also a complete stick. So, I'm going to have to start fixing salads, at least for myself, so I eat less of the meat and potatoes.

(((((Drew))))) I'm so sorry. Much -ma for you and your mother.

I was 90 in high school. I ate awful and never gained on a pound. Then depression set in and my metabolism completely disappeared.

(And I dislike Twinkies, for the record.)

Me too. Especially since they stopped using lard in the creme formula.

What?

(((Drew)))

I've always been on the I would say heavy side but I don'tthink that's accuarate. Curvey side. I was a size 12 or so when I graduated high school.

I was on a medication, I forget now, that made me hungry all the time, I'd eat until I was stuffed, and then still fell hungry. So I gained weight about 30 lbs in a few months. And now I'm on medication that makes me gain weight. However I've held within a few pounds of my current weight for about a year so even though I'd like to be slimmer, I feel okay that I'm not constantly gaining weight. For awhile it seemed like every year I was putting on another 10 lbs. I'm 5'8" ish and weigh about 235 lb. I'd love to get down to about 190 or 200. My pdoc wants me to try Geodon (anyone have any experience with that) because it has less of the meatoblism side effects that Seroquel does and I may lose some weight.

I'm sorry, Drew. Much ~ma to your mother and the rest of your family.

The only time I ever lost significant weight was when I went seriously low carb. That leveled off and started creeping back up when I'd just about reached my goal weight. Then Mom got the cancer and I just ignored diet issues for a while. Over those 18 months my weight just went back to where it had started. After she died I essentially stopped eating for three months. Coffee in the morning, diet coke during the day, some fruit and cheese in the evening because by then I usually had the shakes. My weight didn't budge.

And throughout this whole thing I was walking about 3 miles a day, 4 days a week.

Anyway, after Mom died I had a minor epiphany. I was 38 at the time, and for my entire life Mom had been overweight and on a diet. Low fat everything. No dessert or other sugary food unless she could justify it because it was a holiday and she had to make it for everyone else, or because of something like she'd helped get funding for a battered women's shelter and deserved a treat (because just being a decent human being in general didn't justify eating tasty things, evidently). When she died, after a 100+ lb chemo-driven weight loss, she was still overweight.

I realized I didn't want to spend the rest of my life on a diet. I'm currently overweight. If I go on a diet I may have a few thinner months here and there, but overall I'll still be overweight. While living on donuts and fried chicken isn't healthy it's not so much because of what's there as it is because of what isn't there. I plan to spend the rest of my life eating good things. Yes to tasty salads and fruit and broiled chicken. But also yes to chocolate and butter and au gratin potatoes. My plate's contents don't have to meet anyone's standards but my own. And my standards are all about what the food has, not what it lacks (flavor and calories, respectively).

Since I had this epiphany, and started acting on it, I've had no significant change in the fit of my clothing. I'm running now, instead of walking, because it leaves me feeling awesome. It also leaves me feeling hungry. So I eat.

{{Drew}} Tons of~ma for you and your mom.

I lost a good amount of weight on South Beach, but then slowly gained it back. I'm now about twelve pounds over my lowest weight as an adult. My doctor says I should be between 100 and 110; I think there's no way on earth I could ever maintain a weight below 125. Just maintaining 145 takes a ton of work.

{{{Drew}}}