Well hell.

This trip? Utterly broke me. Now I have to figure out how to get to work and eat for the next week. Maybe two.

Fuck.

Also, S completely let the apartment go to shit while I was gone for a week.

This is unbelievably upsetting.

FERGUS FALLS, Minn. - Hailey Jo Hauer was born on the eighth day of the eighth month of 2008. At 8:08 a.m. And you're not going to believe what she weighed.

Yes: eight pounds, eight ounces.

When staff at Lake Region Hospital in Fergus Falls told Lindsay Hauer the time of her daughter's birth, "I thought they were just joking," she said. Then, still in the operating room, she got a call from the birthing suite where Haily Joe was being measured and weighed.

When hospital staff in the operating room heard that Hailey Jo weighed in at eight pounds eight ounces, several resolved to buy lottery tickets later in the day.

Breathe, Sean. Then maybe have a beer.

JZ and Matilda just got home. I was afraid Matilda would be upset seeing me hold Dylan, but she just pointed and said, "Baby Dylan!" (We've been prepping her.)

Update: JZ just got video of Matilda pointing at him and sayiing, "Baby Dylan!"

I thought she was going to be all "Mine!" when she saw him with her toys, but, in fact, she's been bringing him all her favorite toys to play with.

We had a mini-crisis right before they got home.

I heard a little "Eep!" from Dylan and looked up to see his enormous brown long lashed eyes welling with tears. He'd gotten too excited about his cheese stick and bit his finger. He very quickly put two and two together and concluded that (a) cheese is comforting; and (b) if it's in his mouth he can't bite his finger, and shoved the last third of the cheese stick into his mouth. He was not pleased when I decided that was a hazard and removed the cheese.

And then he realized that while I was a perfectly acceptable substitute for rolling the whiffle ball or showing him the pull toys, I was not choice number one, two, three or even four on his list of Comfortadors. Also, I took away the cheese.

I applied milk and a bouncy walk and he was fine for Matilda's arrival.

She's also learned that she can only make a proforma request for me to consider gastric bypass. Not going to happen unless they make it less dangerous and reversible, sorry.

"Learned"....from you, you mean?

Indeed.

Poor boo. But he really does have amazing eyes, doesn't he?

Poor boo. But he really does have amazing eyes, doesn't he?

Ridiculous! Plus Cashmere's in town too so we've got some of the most gorgeous eyes in America in SF right now.

Matilda and Dylan are sitting side by side on the couch and munching on various foodstuffs and looking adorable.

FERGUS FALLS, Minn. - Hailey Jo Hauer was born on the eighth day of the eighth month of 2008. At 8:08 a.m. And you're not going to believe what she weighed.

Girl's going to be a whiz at Crazy Eights.

Well not only is Matilda not jealous, she thinks Dylan is totally entrancing and is bringing him her favorite squeeky shoes. I think she's going to be bummed when he leaves.

Aaaand I just got off the phone with S.

She's safely in Texas.

It was pleasant enough conversation, but it turned ugly with no warning, and ended with a hang up.