{{{Anne}}} Much calm~ma and sleep~ma.

Suzi, hang in there! And so much health~ma to your mom. Good grief, universe! This poor woman has had enough!

FUCK YOU, CANCER, YOU FUCKING FUCK.

SO. SO. This. I came home from work to an e-mail letting me know that one of the women I respect most in the world has let go and will probably die in the next 24-48 hours. And I'm kicking myself for not getting that note in the mail to her that I've been meaning to write for over a week now. This woman is amazing. She's had cancer three times, and beat it twice--the second time it was diagnosed as stage 4. She got complete clean bill of health, but a year later it was back in other places. Now it's everywhere. She went to visit her daughter (who is about 16, severely disabled, and lives in an assisted living environment except for every other weekend or so) for the last time on Sunday, and K completely didn't understand this was the probably the last time she was going to see her mom. It just breaks every bit of my heart.

I am sick of seeing people I love in pain. This woman is quite possibly the strongest person I know. I just...

I'm still stuck on how cute he was....dang. I'm a bad daughter.

No. You're a bad daughter if you were stuck on the cute and there was something wrong with your mom. Or hoping there was something wrong so you could see him again - that's wrong. Noticing the hott when everything is fine is normal. And to be encouraged.

I totally get the "show your work", though. Otherwise maybe you're just cheating. Or, more importantly, maybe you get the wrong answer because [not that this would EVER happen to me] you add the numbers just a little bit wrong but you TOTALLY have the right CONCEPT, and if you show your work you can get a lot of partial credit that if you just gave the answer the teacher would have to be like "2? The answer is 75! Where did you get 2? SO WRONG!! FAIL!!"

I loved "show your work". it's how I squeaked by with a C in physics. I got it up to a point. So, i would do each problem until I got stuck, then move on. it baffled my teacher "how are you smart enough to figure out how to get the maximum points, but can't do the problem?"

Or hoping there was something wrong so you could see him again - that's wrong.

Well, I did tell her she needs to have a follow-up appt with him, where she needs me to escort her...so, ummmmmm.....

You're a good daughter.

Much calm to you, Anne. Be good to yourself.

Cash and vw, I'm so sorry to hear that news. Fuck cancer indeed.

On less major but still pathetic news, I've been sitting in my car outside my house for almost ten minutes now because I am so dreading the school and house work that lies before me. Lame.

Anne, what can I do to help settle your thoughts?

Right now, knowing that there are people who care about how I'm doing means a LOT.

vw, I am so sorry about your friend. Cancer does, indeed suck.

Suzi, continued ~ma to your mom.

{{{Anne}}} All sorts of soothing, calm thoughts and ~ma headed your way.

{{{Sean}}}

{{{Suzi}}}

{{{vw}}}

{{{Cashmere}}}

Seriously, this year needs to back off buffistas and those they care about.

Anne, I'm sorry you are having a tough time. I'm so glad that you reached out to us for help. {{Anne}}

I'll keep people posted on how things are going. I finally had to sit down and admit to myself how bad things have been of late.

Thanks for the good thoughts, all

~ma to all.

I just submitted an abstract to give a talk at the Joint Mathematics Meeting in January. Eek.