Has S considered Disability? It doesn't look like she can work, and maybe not all disability processes are as degrading as Utah's. I found that the deciders are impressed by actual hospitalizations and obviously impaired people, over surly Vikings who are doing their damndest to tough out the problems.

I'm also furious that S has to worry about having to pay in order to live healthily.

Yeah, me too. I can't even begin to talk about the current state of health care without going crazy with rage. I just know if I were to get into it with someone with right-leaning views on the subject, there would be a high danger of punches flying.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is truly an incredibly difficult thing to go through, even in relationships that have been intact and strong for 20 years.

Thanks, Jen. It's been tough. I wanted so badly to save her. But that's not given to me to do, and I feel like an idiot for even wanting that in the first place even as I feel like a complete failure for not being able to do it.

Where do her parents/family live? Are they close? Can they step in somehow? Any other friends?

Houston. And I've been asking them for help for three years, to little avail. Most of them have little they can offer from afar. Her father has means, but is among the serious contenders for Douchenozzle of the Planet.

She has all of three friends here in LA that still talk to her, but few of them ever reach out to her. She has to call them, and even then, they only expend the help that's convenient.

I also want to say that the first person who needs to take care of her is her. If she's not willing to take responsibility for her own health and well-being, there's no way anyone else can do it. I know that doesn't make it easier to see someone you care about suffer, and this probably only adds to the feelings of helplessness, but the fact of the matter is that you can't help her until she's willing to be a part of it, too.

I know. It's one of the reasons I can't stay. I can't go down with her.

Happiest birthdays to Jen and meara!

(both of whom have let me sleep on their couches, incidentally)

Car-ma to MM.

Strength and patience for Sean.

Pain-ease for Pix.

Continued de-fleaification for Momo.

I've gotten Matilda to watch episodes of Avatar because she's fascinated by that show's Momo.

Oh, Sean. I'm so sorry you (and S) have to go through this again. I hope there's something different you can do -- calling in a friend, family member or social services so that you can step away (even if it is only a half step). {{}}

Has S considered Disability? It doesn't look like she can work, and maybe not all disability processes are as degrading as Utah's. I found that the deciders are impressed by actual hospitalizations and obviously impaired people, over surly Vikings who are doing their damndest to tough out the problems.

She's on SSD already. They give her about $1,500 a month to live in Los Angeles, with a $900 a month rent (and that's RIDICULOUSLY affordable in LA). And then Medi-Cal charges her up to a $600 a month Share of Cost for each month she has medical bills.

She's desperately trying to avoid paying SoC for August, and frankly, I don't blame her.

I'm so sorry, Sean. Also, what Jen said.

Oh, yikes. I looked really callous back there when all that stuff was going down while I was still typing.

{{Seany}} I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this. But am glad to count such a Very Decent Human amongst my circle of Invisible Friends in the Box. Some of the strongest ~ma I got - heading your way.

Much car-ma, lisah. That's a tough place to be. When my last car was breaking down at least every other month I figured that it was about the same money as a car payment, plus I wouldn't keep being late for work because of morning breakdowns. But I still ended up waiting until the mechanic who was checking out my car's latest weird noise said, "If you've been thinking about getting a new car, now's the time."

Much car-ma, lisah.

Thanks, hon. I am pretty sure it's still makes more financial sense to hold onto my car for another year or so. the things that are going wrong are normal wear & tear stuff and it's still safe to drive. Also, I'm putting WAY fewer miles on the car since I switched jobs last year. And can easily hitch rides/work at home/bike to work if I need to put it in the shop.

strength~ma Sean

I looked really callous back there when all that stuff was going down while I was still typing.

Pshah... Don't be silly, Epic. We all know how the board rolls.