Yeah, I don't know if you do everything your parents would deem appropriate. I know I don't.

Oh, I know. But I'm talking basic courtesies. This is malevolent not-giving-rat's-ass...and I know KNOW! that some of these kids will be all startled when they see their grades.

And then they will whine for extra credit. BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

And then they will whine for extra credit. BWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

"Fine. I hereby credit you with assholery. Wear it, bitch."

I hereby credit you with assholery. Wear it, bitch.

I may have this silkscreened onto a t-shirt and wear it at my next writer's conference.

Not that the individuals at whom it would be directed would ever get it, but still...

This is malevolent not-giving-rat's-ass...

This. So very much this. These words came out of my mouth today, "We are so not doing this this year. You will turn your attitude around by Friday, or Friday afternoon I will be making phone calls home. If that doesn't change it, you will, in all likelihood, fail this class. Got it?"

Unfortunately, 2 of them looked okay with the failing plan.

This is malevolent not-giving-rat's-ass...and I know KNOW! that some of these kids will be all startled when they see their grades.

Hah! "OK, Anna, Barbara and Chuck are all getting an F for today. Did everyone in the class catch that? So that means a big fat ZERO for today's grade, and since that was a zero each day this week, that means, hmmm...they have NO CHANCE of getting an A this semester. Or a B, even. And since Anna only got a C on her last exam, she seems on track for summer school, or repeating this class. Anna, how do you think your parents will feel about that? Class, Anna seems to like to talk SO MUCH, I think she'd like to share with everyone...."

I just did the equivalent of 14 loads of laundry. Do I get a cookie?

I think you get 14 cookies. At least.

Oh, good!

Um, will someone bring me cookies? I don't think I have any energy to make then tonight.

Poor little kitty! GC, I think we need a picture of lucky crusty kitty next to lucky Momo kitty. Preferably with you in it holding them.

I just got back from a bikram yoga class that we all decided (in the locker room afterwards) was especially hot. We were all wimps tonight.

Erin, I salute you. And remind you that there are a bunch of lawyers here, along with some creative thinkers should you find it necessary to kill someone.

Now I need to find something to eat, and snuggle my puppy.

Happy birthday, Barb!

Happy anniversary, Jessica and DH!

Erin, come sit at my table and we will drown ourselves in a bottle of spirits. Hair pats and hugs. I've had those classes from hell and every day I thought us new ways I wished I could torture them (it got really creative, too). Feel free to rant away. I'm so sorry you got stuck with a class that is equal to the dregs of humanity.

2 of them looked okay with the failing plan.

Those always drive me crazy! Grrrrrrrrr

Fellow teachers, I wish you an amazing year. May all the little "spawns of satan" find other places to go and may that be FAR away from your classes.

I always tell my students that they do not want me to hit "Sweeping Edict Mode" because at that point I'll just decree that people fail. It works for me, much easier on the paperwork, too.

Wait, ND still has a thing for goats? I thought he got that taken care of.

ION: In spite of the insanity that is working at my school, I had a great talk with babydyke diver today. Meara, I passed along your words of wisdom and she is feeling better and better about herself. Also had a talk with my "bulimic with a bipolar mom and insane family". This child has been accepted early into AMDA and is amazingly talented (a triple threat). Her family has so screwed her up that I count the day's until she goes to school so maybe she can get some help. Then had to give a jump start to my thespian vice-president who left his parking lights on. Keeping up with these kids is exhausting but is why I keep going back to that crazy school.