vw, you've gotten some really good advice, I hope this all resolves in your favor, and soon.

sj, ack. Hoping things work out for you and TCG, too. Not fair, everything at once.

Kristin, I'm sorry about the delays and frustrations. Worse when they seem to be piling up just when you're wanting to savor something pleasant.

Drew, what burrell said. My mom and dad had an absolute horror of going into care, so we cared for Dad at home for eight years. Mom sat with him during the day and fed him lunch and supper, I made his bed, undressed him, bathed him and put him to bed, DH got him up, changed his bed, laundered his clothes and bedclothes, bathed him, dressed him, made his breakfast and sat with him till Mom got up, late morning. He had Parkinsons and dementia, so it wasn't an easy time, but at least he was never combative.

Mom was relatively easy to care for, except for short lapses into dementia three or four times a year, when she would become combative. When we were unable to administer the treatment she needed because of this we started to realize that we were not helping her by allowing her to stay at home. And when she fell and was admitted to hospital, the doctors agreed she should go to skilled care. From there she went into resident care, and truthfully? She's much better looked after than we were able to manage at home, she has more interaction with more people, and she doesn't have a choice. They don't care if she's cranky or ill-mannered, they don't have the ingrained response of obeying your parent to prevent them from getting her to do as much as she's capable of doing, or following a course of treatment.

She's healthier, she's actually happier and more engaged than she was at home interacting with only family, and both the other residents and the staff know her and spoil her rotten. They don't get frustrated, they don't get upset, they don't feel guilty about her not taking her meds or doing her therapy because it's their job to make that happen, and they're not children she can boss around and cow by force of will (as I am, I'm afraid).

It was taking three of us to care for her, and we were failing. Home help--well, it wasn't, because it was her house and she was rude and bossy and intransigent. The facility has staff, supplies, and resources we just couldn't maintain at home. This has been better for us, true. But it's so much better for her.

This isn't meant to be mememe, only an example of things going right. I wish all of you the best resolution possible.

{{{Bitches}}}

travel~ma for Kristin

school~ma for vw

no more leaks~ma for sj

The plumber is here, hopefully fixing everything, and I finally remembered to eat something, which will hopefully combat my crankiness. With the ADs I'm back to forgetting I need to eat.

Okay, so, funny story from this weekend.

Em was taking a nap and I was flipping through channels and saw that one of my favorite movies, Midnight Run was on. So I'm wathing the movie, which, if you've seen it, you will know is full of some incredibly foul language.

I didn't hear Emeline get up or come downstairs until she was right there in the living room. She walks in just as Jimmy Serrano (Dennis Farina) is chewing out his two dumb henchmen over the phone.

The line is something like "You two stupid motherfuckers better get this right, or I'm getting on a fucking plane and I'll blowtorch the both of you."

Emeline turns to me, her eyes wide, her expression horribly scandalized and says:

"Daddy! That man just said 'stupid'!"

"Daddy! That man just said 'stupid'!"

Heh. Emmett used to feel that "shut up!" was about the most offensive thing you could say to somebody.

Emmett used to feel that "shut up!" was about the most offensive thing you could say to somebody.

I think I may have actually been taught this at some point.

Emmett used to feel that "shut up!" was about the most offensive thing you could say to somebody.

I think I may have actually been taught this at some point.

I know I was. "Stupid" was also a mortal insult in my mother's household.

Heh. Emmett used to feel that "shut up!" was about the most offensive thing you could say to somebody.

In my family, we had to pay a quarter into the coffee can if we said "shut up" (which wasn't often). And also when we used my mother's sewing scissors on paper (which was more often).

Same here on "shut up". It was dismissive and degrading because it indicated that you didn't feel the person was worthy of an opinion.

I'll drop f-bombs in front of my Mom now, but I probably wouldn't tell my sister to shut up.

Shut Up is the other one she gets grief for saying, which has beenhard on Joe and I since it is the main way we communicate with Ollie.

Emeline is very quick to notice when we use "Shut Up" or "Stupid" and will put us in time out.