I prefer "fat" to "overweight" for describing myself. "Fat" is just a descriptor. "Overweight" is a comparative.

Right. And even though "fat" as it is most commonly used, is not usually a positive thing, isn't the same true for "bitch?"

t points to thread title

I was talking recently about how part of my problem is that while I know I'm overweight/fat/whatever, my mental image of myself does not reflect this. It isn't until I catch a reflection somewhere that I go - oh yeah, not looking as hot as I thought.

I get so frustrated when I go clothes shopping cause then I do have to look in the mirror and have that reminder that what others see does not match whatmy brain thinks they see.

In regards to eating versus dieting, I have tried for years to just make healthy choices and not sweat it when I want a treat. My problem comes more from the unconscious eating where I grab something cause I'm bored. When I think about eating and making choices I do well. But when I don't think...well there is my downfall.

Yeah, I hear you, Hil. I feel like fat always sounds like an insult where overweight seems more clinical and detached. To me anyway.

(((Bitches)))

Barb, that's ass. I don't know much about the publishing world, but it doesn't look like there's anything you could have done.

I wish there were a way to get people to see themselves the way someone else does to combat the body image demons. Like, the other day, I was feeling all bloated and greasy and gross (guess what time of the month it is), but when I walked into the living room after getting dressed, Mr. Jane was all, "You look hot!" I want something like that for everyone when the nasty voices start up.

Thanks for the nice words javachik and Pix. There are four of us in our little workspace-4 cubes attached to each other at the inside corner. They are custom, so you can take down walls to talk to your quad mates. We, of course have all of them down. Anyway, after T got the news yesterday, we (the other three of us came up with a plan).

Here is the result of that plan [link]

It's intuitive eating, and it's not always easy, since I've spent at least 25 of the past 37 years learning ways to NOT listen to my body. But when intuitive eating works, it's amazing, and I feel so healthy when I do it.

I've only barely started, and I'm definitely fighting against bad habits and not being in the habit of listening to my body. But it feels like it's part of a larger issue I've been dealing with--learning to live with the Good Enough instead of always struggling for the Perfect. Don't get me wrong, I'm still a big believer in striving for excellence, especially in areas like my writing that are close to my core passions, but I'm learning to be content with the life I have and the many good things in it. And, you know, that I'll probably never be a brilliant cook, but I can put together quick meals that are nutritious and reasonably tasty. And that's OK. We can't all be Anthony Bourdain or Alton Brown. And I'll never have an impeccably decorated and perfectly neat house, either, but I can manage one that's tidy enough that I'm not climbing over toys and clutter with every step and can quickly be brought to company-ready status. And that too is good enough. Stuff like that.

I'm also thinking of going ahead and starting fencing lessons this fall instead of leaving fencing on my list of "Things to do after I've lost fifty pounds." Because I've been yearning after swords ever since I first set sight on my brother's West Point saber, nearly 30 years ago, and it's about damn time I picked one up.

Hey, DJ, that link is broken

I promise I won't take over Bitches with the Spanish exploding brain again, but Barb, are you still around? Would you be up for an e-mail discussion of double object pronouns? I think I just REALLY bombed that on my quiz, and I'd like to try to understand it before moving on.

I'm also thinking of going ahead and starting fencing lessons this fall instead of leaving fencing on my list of "Things to do after I've lost fifty pounds." Because I've been yearning after swords ever since I first set sight on my brother's West Point saber, nearly 30 years ago, and it's about damn time I picked one up.

DO IT. Fencing is awesome. I took it a few years ago - and it turns out I was LOUSY at it. And still had the best time, even as I was getting my ass whupped by every 11-year-old in the room. (And I'm sure I weighed more at the time than you do now.) Don't deny yourself. Don't convince yourself you have to "earn" it. DO IT.

(Big surprise) echoing the DO IT. Don't hold out on yourself, don't try to make it part of any reward/punishment loop, don't feel like you have to get in shape first (it's exercise! it'll get you in shape!)

Just go try it out, and if it's your thing, awesome, and if it's not your thing, it's not still hanging around on the list of stuff you should've tried sometime. And also, feel free to ask if you want any kind of club advice.

I'm also thinking of going ahead and starting fencing lessons this fall instead of leaving fencing on my list of "Things to do after I've lost fifty pounds."

You need to throw that list away. What if (god forbid) you get hit by a truck tomorrow? Other than the fact that you wouldn't have been able to take up fencing between today and tomorrow -- so maybe my example is imperfect -- I'm serious. Don't put off your life because you weigh more than you think you should.