NOT a failure. I would bet lots and lots of good money that this has nothing to do with the manuscript at all.

Probably not, Amy, but I'll never really know that for sure. And that insecurity will live with me for a while. I mean, empirically, I know it's a good manuscript-- it's a good story and I gave it everything I've got.

But right now, the manuscript is the fall guy for everything else and I just... right now, I'm tired of kicking at the football. (To keep going with the Charlie Brown references.)

Oh, Barb. What a kick to the stomach.

NOT a failure, or anywhere close.

Wish you were still here so we could drown your temporary (and yes, it's temporary because wild success WILL be yours, dammit) sorrow and frustration in mojitos at Annabel's.

Oh Barb. {{{Barb}}} I am so sorry. I am thirding and/or fourthing that call for a stiff, hard cabana boy drink.

And a new dress.

Oh, shit, Barb, I'm sorry. How disheartening, after all that work and all those damn revisions--and, like Susan, I wanted to read it, damnit!

You mean, they don't tell you why they're not pleased? They just wave it off and mutter obscurely?

Can you now sell the thing to someone else?

Damn, Barb. That sucks hard.

Barb, I have no knowledge of the publishing biz, but that publisher sounds like a total fucktard. I hope you find a better house with honorable people.

Have y'all seen the current Psychology Today cover? [link] The cover story is about common things that are considered to be wrong or "forbidden," and (minor minor minor) kink is one of them.

Because there are so many corset fans here, I thought I'd share the reaction from the kink community, which is basically: the corset is on upside-down and backwards, and the laces are wrapped around her waist.

Yikes!!!

Threadsuck, offline meara and VERY LONG catch-up post…damn this expensive internet connection!

From way back, tons of car~ma for Aims and MM. I’m sorry you’re dealing with car stress on top of everything else. {{{Miracleborns}}}

So much ~ma for Nora and Tom. I’m so sorry to hear about the layoff. I am choosing to be utterly optimistic that he will get a new job in no time that pays better and makes him happy. In the meantime, hang in there and vent as needed.

Urgh. Work is kicking my ass and I'll have to go blinvisible after I hit "post." I miss everyone something dreadful.

I’m sorry work is treating you poorly, JZ. I’m also sorry that you aren’t able to stick around. As much fun as it’s been to traipse around the Caribbean the past week, I really miss everyone, too.

oh why didn't I realize grape leaves would stain? Now my favorite white plastic bowl is lined with green. On the bright side I have feta-stuffed grape leaves in the fridge waiting to go with me to game night and get broiled. It was so easy and I only used half a jar. I'ma bring home some ground lamb in the near future and do the rest of them up right.

Laga, I’m sorry for the stained bowl, but YUM! Nom nom nom.

Check it out. I'm a real American. Bored with my job and thinking I'm way smarter than my boss.

Heh. Sing it, sister!

DJ, you're one of my favorite Bufffistas for many reasons, and one of them is the honest delight you take in others' success.

Aw. Yes, this. It really is nice to see your enthusiasm about others’ successes.

I made dinner! It may be the simplest dinner I know how to make, but considering the fact that I feel like ass, I'm counting it a major accomplishment.

GO SJ! I count any time I manage to actually cook a major accomplishment.

I use online bill-pay for most things, but I can't use it for my rent. That needs to be mailed. Specifically, it needs to be mailed before the tenth of the month.

Hil, do you have a desk? I find a monthly bill check-off list left somewhere conspicuous helps this.

The bad news: The first day back to the school was everything I feared and MORE! I hoped I would be wrong on this school year sucking. Nope...it probably will.

Oh no! I so want to save you from this stupid school. They DON’T DESERVE YOU. I am glad to hear that your new department members seem good, though. Safety in numbers, and all.

Well... talk about hitting earth with a thud. Looks like the publisher at Dial is not exactly pleased with the manuscript for So She Dances…So I wasn't all that surprised when Agent Kate called today warning me that the likelihood that they'll be canceling the contract altogether is almost a certainty.

Oh hon! What horrible news, and especially given the difficult year you’ve had with all the writing stress. I know the temptation to feel like a failure, but I’m willing to bet that Amy is right:

NOT a failure. I would bet lots and lots of good money that this has nothing to do with the manuscript at all.

It is good to remember that now you can pursue other (better!) deals since you’ve had this contract obligation hanging over your head, but I know that doesn’t make it feel any better right now.

I just... right now, I'm tired of kicking at the football. (To keep going with the Charlie Brown references.)

There’s a reason this is one of my LJ icons. Charles Schultz created a bit of a metaphoric masterpiece with that one. Feeling like you keep hoping and trying and falling on your ass just plain sucks. I have every faith in your recovery, but we’re here to help you back up in the meantime. {{{Barb}}}

Okay…so I’m only caught up with this recent stuff, but I at least wanted to make an effort to tell you all how much I miss you. Things have gotten a bit stressy on the ship this week, especially today. Not really worth going into, just personality conflicts and corporate vs. artistic wrangling, and general crowd control issues with 3800 guests trapped on a boat (1800+ of which are kids). Drew has been doing a great job, but he’s busy as hell and caught (continued...)