Have your browser guess what gender you are: [link]

Hee. I get a 71% probability of being male from my computer's browsing history. But the website to which it accords the highest male:female ratio is a Chinese news site that Wallybee visits. Apparently she's made a man of me.

Huh, it still works.

And I'm sitting in my livingroom, on my futon, with NO WIRES.

Sorry for the spamming. I'm kinda amazed I got this far. Had troubles. First, UPS got here just before I did because I got caught in roadwork traffic. But I got them to try again! And then, the activation process kept stalling. Finally called up and it turns out that verizon's automated connect thingie that's their default? Doesn't work with OSX10.5. So alternate process. Which also means I don't have my verizon username and password, but whatever, not absolutely necessary at this point. And then I changed the name of the router id, I think, and that's kinda messed up now, I think. Anyway. I'll figure it out. Eventually.

billytea!

I need bat help.

I need bat help.

Ok. I recommend attracting it with the batsignal.

What's the issue? You want to sic' em on your landlord?

Hi! I should be writing, but I'm not! I want to eat pizza! ...but I'm not. ION, Scrappy gave me a present for her birthday! Happy Birthday, Scrappy!!!

I'm unclear on when I became addicted to the exclamation point. Sorry.

I'm writing a children's book about a mexican free-tail bat who loses his cave (and family) during an earthquake. He travels the world looking for a new family, and stays with vampire bats in argentina, pipistrels in London, fruit bats in the Caribbean, Egyptian fruit bats in the Middle East, and the Flying Foxes in Australia.

So! What can you tell me about flying foxes and their habits and demeanors?

Mon cheval! Ne tirez pas--il a mon cheval!

But I would probably say "il a pris mon cheval" (he has taken my horse). It just "yells" better with the extra syllable.

Thanks, megan!

And thanks, Anne, for the horrible horse death. That will work perfectly.

And another translation request! (megan is so getting a huge shout-out in my acknowledgments if this book sells!)

"You! You ruin everything." (singular you)

"You've ruined everything that matters to me, so I only do my best to return the favor." (plural you)

Also, tobacco bud worms are my petunias, and I am RAGEY about it.

Rage is good for things like that, Allyson. Kill the fuckers.

I think I could have got the Trixie Dress in a medium. I was unsure, though, because of the bust. I'm still unsure if large was the right call, as it's not at all snug (it's not baggy, exactly, but I have no need for the stretch through the waist). Yet the bust seems to work. The whole DDD thing throws the equation right off.

tobacco bud worms are my petunias

I've always had good luck with mixing a little dishsoap in a spray bottle. For aphids, at least. But then, I have dead strawberries, marigolds, snaps and a dying myrtle, so maybe I'd best defer to someone else (those weren't bugs, though!)