My dad is back in the US. Storms in Chicago, Dallas and El Paso are delaying him getting home, but he's no longer incommunicado in Mongolia!

Day=long. Install finished early after one major glitch. Time will tell. Still nervous.

Oh & of course they tried to deliver my dsl stuff today. When I was tied up at the office.

Happy Birthday, Fred Pete!

&

Congratulations, Tamara!

Not all the time, no(being cute, blonde and broken, is its own little hell) but often enough that I feel you on that. Actual rude is often easier for me to cope with because you can just think, well, screw you, too. But what do you say to the "helpful" ass who says "It's too bad. You'd be so pretty, if..." "If I had to do what you do, I'd kill myself.(Don't let me stop ya, bunk.) They outsourced Magical Cripples to India, JZ. Not my fault. Maybe it's NAFTA. They're sweeter, but sort of hard to understand on the phone. But when I was twelve, I got called "Bitch," by a sportsfan that thought I was faking. That hurt. Nobody had ever sworn AT me before.

And I don't think I'm much to look at, but I pay a different sort of price for the ways I fit the mainstream beauty standard. People feel compelled to comment in ways I wish they wouldn't. But I'm sure they don't realize what a mind--- that is. Or at least, when I'm being nice, that's what I think. But, you know, I'm insecure enough...

People are just unkind, I think. It isn't even rude-- because as Cordelia said "politeness is just not saying what is true"-- what bothers me is that people think like this.

It has been on my mind (not to equate this with disability) because yesterday morning hile I was waiting for the bus, someone driving slowed, rolled down the window and shouted "Hey did you know you are fat and ugly, bitch!". Um- who has the time or energy to yell out the window at random passes-by. I mean, I understand yelling at or getting frustrated with, say, someone who cuts you off in traffic, even though it is more polite to not say anything-- but I was just standing there. Again (this is the second time this year) these were grown people, not kids or teenagers!

How horrible for both of you, Erika and Sophia! People can be truly awful sometimes.

Yeah don't understand the mentality. I don't understand thinking that way. But I also don't understand saying it. I mean when the guy ahead of me is wearing this awful shirt with mixed purple, yellow and lime green, my not saying anything to him is not just a matter of tact or politeness. Its a matter of his fashion sense is none of my freakin business. Boundaries, these people don't have boundaries.

It only happens to me once or twice a year, and I am not really bothered by it personally-- I became immune to being called ugly by high school, and frankly, I don't think I am ugly, just a little unconventional/slightly ethnic. I get just as many people calling me the "nice Italian/Jewish girl who looks like my cousin/aunt/sister".

What bothers/interests me is that I cannot fathom why someone takes the time to do something like that or really feels that urge First because I have enough anger/frustration with the people I actually know or who are actually doing something annoying to give myself additional issues with people standing on the street, second because I am so darn polite that when a random man was sleeping in my car and scared the crap out of me I said "excuse me, you are scaring me, do you mind if I exit the vehicle". I mean, sometimes I want to yell at people who, say, get off the bus and stop short to open their stroller, causing everyone else to be stuck on the bus when we only have 3 minutes to transfer, but I hold it in-- but the people are actually doing something that effects me!

I've come to the conclusion that by and large, people suck. It's simplistic, yes, but frankly, I don't have the time or energy to waste on trying to figure out what trauma may have caused them to become sucky humans. Everyone's got shit to deal with, very, very few people lead perfectly charmed lives. It's how you choose to cope with the shit that defines you as a person-- either you find a way to deal and hopefully become if not a more compassionate person, then one who's at least self-aware enough to realize others don't have it easy either and behave accordingly, or you suck.

Ergo, by and large, people suck.

Present company excluded, natch.