I think we've talked about this before: Website Lets You Send a Post-Rapture E-Mail to Friends 'Left Behind'
But I was wondering - what criteria do they use to determine if the Rapture has happened? I mean, for all we know, the Rapture might have happened a few weeks ago but the standards were so strict that only a few monks in Mongolia made it.
So it sez:
The e-mails will be triggered when three of the site's five Christian staffers "scattered around the U.S." fail to log in for six days in a row -- a system that incorporates a nice margin of safety, should two of the proprietors turn out to be unrepentant sinners or atheists.
Still, this seems problematic. What are the chances of at least three of the five making the cut? I'd say the odds are good, but probably not close to 100%. Also, what if someone kidnaps three of their staff, or otherwise prevents them from logging on? A false rapture report goes out, and lots of Christians suddenly think they weren't good enough for Jesus to call them to heaven. And lots of non-believers get emails from their Christian relatives saying, "I've been raptured!" when in fact they weren't.
I think what they need to do is invent some device that attaches to the bodies of their staffers. Then when their bodies disappear (assuming that clothes and what-not are left behind) the device would detect the missing body and trigger the Rapture alert. Maybe something like a giant paper-clip that has electrical contacts that close when the body gets raptured....
It'd be funny to hack the rapture email database and send out a notice like: "The Rapture Has Happened (And You Weren't Invited!)"
Hell, I'd send an evite to the Rapture.
Happy Birthday Dana!
Ugh. I am snowed under with work this week and my cohort who's handling the job interview process for a new person is scheduling multiple interviews and demos that I have to be a part of. I know it's necessary, but I wish this stuff could have been put off until next week when I wasn't already planning to work until 7 or later each night.
A false rapture report goes out, and lots of Christians suddenly think they weren't good enough for Jesus to call them to heaven.
More to the point, what happens when there's a massive nationwide power failure? The last one didn't last six days, but that's not beyond the realm of the imagination.
Or for that matter, bad strain of the flu one winter, whoops pretend rapture.
"We were just kidding! Lying flat on your back hallucinating that your cat is a minor deity is totally like the rapture! The hospitalizations are almost over, and then we'll go back to ordinary rapture-expectation."
The e-mails will be triggered when three of the site's five Christian staffers "scattered around the U.S." fail to log in for six days in a row -- a system that incorporates a nice margin of safety, should two of the proprietors turn out to be unrepentant sinners or atheists.
Even more to the point, do they really think there is a chance that even one of the staff is atheist?
Would it be more or less funny if that Rapture site turns out to be a scam?
Users can also upload up to 150 megabytes of documents, which will be protected by an unidentified encryption algorithm until the Rapture, then released to up to 12 nonbelievers of your choice. The site recommends that you use that storage to house sensitive financial information.
(My italics)
"In the encrypted portion of your account you can give them access to your banking, brokerage, hidden valuables, and powers of attorneys," the site says. "There won't be any bodies, so probate court will take seven years to clear your assets to your next of kin. Seven years, of course, is all the time that will be left. So, basically the Government of the Antichrist gets your stuff, unless you make it available in another way."
Of course, some of us would sooner trust the Antichrist with our stuff than turn it over to a company that hides behind an anonymous domain registration service, and doesn't list a single corporate officer or employee by name on its website.
The company, You've Been Left Behind LLC, didn't respond to an e-mail query, raising the obvious question of whether the Rapture has already begun. Developing …
OK, check out what this soldier did to win the Congressional Medal of Honor (posthumously): [link]
Damn.
I'm just waiting for the obvious mashup (of the Rapture/financial records, not the MoH, obvs):
HELLO, I AM MRS. SMITH FROM NIGERIA. I HAVE COME INTO POSSESSION OF THE FINANCIAL PAPERS OF A GOOD AND CHRISTIAN MAN WHO WAS RECENTLY RAPTURED AND I AM ASKING FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE IN TRANSFERRING THE MONEY TO YOUR COUNTRY.
