Not pointing is a sign of autism? I didn't know that.

Yeah, it was a major reason the first person who evaluated Annabel for autism thought she had it. She didn't point. But then we, uh, made a point of modeling it for her, and she started doing it occasionally. It's never been her major way of getting our attention or indicating something, though.

But then we, uh, made a point of modeling it for her, and she started doing it occasionally.

See, that's the thing - I don't point much either. I mean, why would I? So I'm not sure why he'd pick up on it as a means of indicating "that thing over there" when waving his arms and yelling works just as well. (Not a behavior he picked up from either parent, btw. He came up with that one on his own.)

I don't remember my kids pointing, especially, either. Jake was big on "dat?" and sort of making grabby hands, but not pointing.

You see, Annabel sometimes spaces out, even in the middle of an activity, and for maybe 10-20 seconds it's difficult to impossible to get her attention--you have to get up in her face, say her name loudly, etc. And then she snaps out of it and will answer your question or go back to what she was doing before or whatever.

Susan, if it's any consolation, I did this all the time as a kid. I mean, I would just...kinda...blank out for a few seconds and then come back to reality and move on.

I grew out of it.

But I kinda miss it, sometimes. It was restful, in a strange way.

I did the blanking out thing too. My mom would kinda yell at me and tell me to quit making stupid faces, that I looked like a freak. Years later (um, a month ago when I was home) I told her I probably had epilepsy or something and, that was probably REALLY helpful, THANKS. She claims (now that she works with special ed kids as a speech pathologist) that she thinks now that I was probably "self soothing" like an autistic kid (I think I kinda vibrated, too--somewhere between seizure and flapping my hands, eh?). Great. Well, thanks anyway, mom. Though I suppose either way I don't do it any more, grew out of it or whatever.

YAY Miracleman job!!!!

Fred, probably best to plan the vacay at a point where everything would've been figured out--like, not right when she would've taken off, y'know? But it all depends on the office and the jobs, it might be the the original dates will work fine, since there's so much notice.

Shit.

I was totally expecting the nurse to say "nothing to worry about" upon hearing my description of AB's behavior. Instead, she said, "Let's get her in here and see what Dr. B thinks."

NOW I'm freaking out...

IME, Susan, it's the nurses' job to say that. They don't want to be liable for telling a parent to ignore something potentially serious, even if the chances of it ACTUALLY being something are very slim.

IME, Susan, it's the nurses' job to say that.

In my head, I know that. Unfortunately, that's not enough to keep me from wishing I could curl up into a little ball and cry right now, and I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to do ANYTHING at work today...

NOW I'm freaking out...

Don't freak! You just had half a dozen buffistas say they had a tendency to space out as a kid. There are so many possible explanations and the nurse just wants to rule out the concerning one.

wishing I could curl up into a little ball and cry right now, and I don't know how the hell I'm supposed to do ANYTHING at work today...

Susan, you went from calm and moderate to (I apologize if this is harsh) overreacting in the span of a few minutes.

The nurse's choice of words is completely neutral. I think what you wanted was for her to say, "WHAT?!? That's not epilepsy, and anyone who would say so is in serious need of some education! You have nothing to worry about; I'm sure of it, even though I'm not currently in the same room as your daughter."

I understand that; it would be WAY better if the nurse could, over the phone, immediately diagnose and dismiss your worries. But, short of determining that no, your daughter doesn't have testicular cancer, the nurse (and the doctor) can't diagnose anything without Annabel in front of them. Legally, it would be career suicide for them to do so.

Also, like Jess said, the nurse will tell you to come in 99% of the time. (The other 1% being when you have an implausible worry, like testicular cancer in your daughter.) They *have* to. That's just how phone triage works in medical offices.

The nurse was in no way even *implying* that Annabel has epilepsy; she would say the same thing if you called describing symptoms of the flu, a stomach bug, or an earache -- she would tell you to come in.

If you call, they tell you to come in. It just works that way. The nurse was responding to the fact that you called, NOT the content of the call.

It's really going to be fine. Annabel has 2 very cerebral parents, and understandably gets lost in her own busy brain from time to time. The medical establishment just engages in a lot of CYA.