Spike's Bitches 41: Thrown together to stand against the forces of darkness
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Question for hivemind-- what do you do when you find yourself completely frozen?
The breakup with Former Agent was so sudden and so completely unexpected, and then instead of spending late spring/early summer submitting a project I was really excited by and getting back to work on another project that had been stalled for a bit in order for it to be ready for the fall submission rounds, I was spending all my time querying agents and eating my way through copious amounts of peanut butter M&Ms, stressing as I waited to hear back.
So now, I have New! Fabulous! Agent! and you'd think I'd be all raring to go, and I am, but... still frozen. Admittedly, the blow of hearing that the next young adult novel was kicked off the summer '09 schedule also threw me for an unexpected loop. What this does, effectively, is delay acceptance on that manuscript, which means my editor can't read my proposal for my new YA novel, which means I can't submit it to any other publishers, which, in a word, SUCKS. Especially since I've had ideas for TWO more YA novels, one of which is a ghost YA, of all things. But my hands are tied-- they get the option book unless Fantastic Agent can get me out of it.
But that shouldn't be such a HUGE deal, necessarily, because I at least have my adult work to fall back on and I am excited by it and want to work on it, except... frozen.
And those of you who know me know how weird that is. I mean, workaholic me-- frozen. I open the files and stare at them and... nothing. It's like my confidence is completely in the toilet.
ACK. What do I do? Any suggestions?
< /whine>
Much ~ma to your father, Vortex.
I'm glad he's out of surgery, Vortex.
I have no answer Barb, but if you figure it out can you share it with me? I've been frozen too.
Barb, this may sound uber-simplistic, but one of the thought replacement techniques I use with my coaching clients is posing the question, "What would it take for me to enjoy the process of__________."
You may not know the answer immediately, but the subconscious loves puzzles like this and will wander off to find an answer without so much as a by-your-leave.
Also, the question implies something really important...it is actually POSSIBLE for you to enjoy the process of becoming unstuck, finishing the project, being satisfied with the completion of same...etc.
That optimism...and permission to succeed...is often a big ol' jump-start.
First off, doesn't sound uber-simplistic to me at all. Sometimes, it's the most simple that really does get things going.
And you know, shallow as it sounds, I think at this point, what I need is validation. I know that one of the reasons I wound up signing with my new agent was that not only was she enthusiastic about my work, she reawakened enthusiasm in me for my work that I was really rather afraid had died. I went back and read the manuscripts she was gushing about and thought to myself, "Damn, did I really write this?" (In a good way.)
And I know I can't control a damned thing about publishing other than my own work-- it's the most capricious of businesses, but it's been a demoralizing year or so of seeing a manuscript I love get continual rejections because it's not what the market is demanding right now, coupled with the waning enthusiasm from my former agent. I'm back to feeling like the unpopular kid on the playground and while the fresh enthusiasm from my new agent helps some, I feel like I need something more.
Which sucks because it's never been my style. If there's anything I've always been able to do, regardless of what was going on around me, is write. To not have that right now... I just feel very rudderless.
It's so good to see you back, bonny!
Don't wanna be here. Want to go out, collect Matilda, and go play on the playground near our house. One of the nurses just said to me, "I see you and your daughter around the neighborhood, and you always hold her like you love her so much." So now I just want to go do that some more.
I presume "frozen" = "writers block". Cause a trick I use is if I can't write something good, I sit down and write something bad - Get a complete draft however awful. Then instead of editing I do a rewrite.
Barb, I've been there myself a lot lately. I don't know if this helps you at all, but I'm of the "fake it till you make it" school. I just make myself keep churning out pages on the WIP, and eventually I write something that reminds me how much I love my characters and the energy comes back.
It's not even a complete writer's block Typo-- I have all the ideas and scenes and dialogue running through my head. I want to be writing, but I open the file and I just can't bring myself to add anything new to what's there.
Used to be if I had that problem, I could go back and edit on previous chapters and that would jump start me, but even that's not working. It's very frustrating.
ION, DH and I are now out of debt. At least, we will be once all the balance transfers go through and the check for our personal loan clears. I'm feeling, well, completely staggered. It's just...wow.