Oh, and Teppy; regarding your gastric tension. I've had some similar problems over the years and I would recommend you try acupuncture not only for relaxation but to try and get some of the nerves in your gut to stop doing whatever the hell it is they're doing. I also recommending rolfing which is like restringing your muscles on your skeleton. Rolfing helped me with posture and a lot of long-term gut tension.

ION, what is wrong with people? I went out to lunch at an Indian restaurant with my parents and sister yesterday. There were only two other tables with people -- one guy sitting alone, and one group that looked like several married couples in their forties or fifties. One of the guys in the group ordered the South Indian thali. It got served, and he looked at it and said, "Is this all the rice that comes with it?" The waiter said yes, it comes with rice, and bread, and a bunch of vegetable dishes, and some pickles, and raita, and dessert. The guy said, "This is supposed to be South Indian thali. Do you know that rice is a staple food in South India? Where are you from? You cannot be from South India, or you would know that this is not an acceptable amount of rice. You will go back in the kitchen and fill this bowl to the top with rice."

The waiter repeated that that was the amount of rice that came with the dish, and again pointed out the bread and the zillion other things on the plate. The customer started shouting, "I only want what is fair! You are charging $14 for this plate, and I want a fair amount of rice. Have you ever been to South India? Rice is a staple food there. This is not a fair amount of rice."

And this went on for at least five full minutes. He finally sent the whole plate back and got the North Indian thali (which I've gotten before and has the exact same amount of rice.) And then, when the waiter came over to take our order, the customer got up and started berating him again.

Hey, Pete: what exactly do you look for in a Roly Poly Pudding?

Most of the recipes I have involve the miracle of suet, as I suspected.

Most of the recipes I have involve the miracle of suet, as I suspected.

Gah, really? See, I suspect that what I grew up with was just a jam-roll pudding and it just got called Roly-Poly. This shorthand mislabeling seems to have happened a lot in my parent's house.

that customer was insane but wtf is wrong with the waiter for not saying, "I'll be right back with more rice"?

Well on the one hand rice is cheap. On the other, not having that customer come back again is probably worth having him continue to make the fuss that one time. It is good business to lose certain customers.

Pete, thanks; I've marked your post so that when I'm no longer on vacation, I can set about fixing myself.

re: vacation -- we got to the beach around 5, which once again put us within 10 minutes of Google Maps' projected time. I'm impressed with their calculations.

The house we're in is VERY nice; it's literally on the beach, with our own stairs down to the sand.

I'm exhausted from the drive; The Boy has played in the ocean already with his brothers and nephews; we've eaten dinner; there has been a little subdued agita about The Sleeping Arrangements ("subdued" in the sense of "discussion was had between The Boy and [I think] his mom, but no one else was involved or was even aware that it was happening"); and now The Boy is at the grocery with one of the SiLs, and I said I was going to nap, but I'm looking at the clock and thinking that this isn't going to be a "nap." The meds I'm taking for my tummy make me really sleepy, and my doc said to double up on them, so -- zzzzzzz. I'm hoping that The Boy will tactfully explain to his family why I'm passed out.

The Boy intends to make a carrot cake and -- get this -- homemade ice cream for my birthday tomorrow (what? it's tomorrow???). There is no way I can ever let go of him, ever.

On the drive back home, when we go through West Virginia, we're going to go 45 minutes out of our way to visit the Mystery Hole, which I cannot say or type without laughing, because I am 12. (Plus it reminds me of The Simpsons' softball episode, where Mr. Burns loads the power plant's softball team with ringers from MLB, and one by one they all can't play because of various problems, and Ozzie Smith [I think it was Ozzie] goes to the Springfield Mystery Spot and falls down a bottomless hole.)

And really, the only reason we're going is because we really, REALLY want t-shirts. I mean, come on -- "MYSTERY HOLE"?!?!? Plus, my brother has a birthday coming up in August, and I think a Mystery Hole t-shirt is a perfect gift for him.

Yeah, it's no House on the Rock, but it still means I get a shirt that says "MYSTERY HOLE." It's a beautiful thing.

Okay, I think I have to crash now.

MYSTERY HOLE

good god. Is this the best they could come up with when "Mystery Spot" was already taken?

Oh, but the name is a thing of beauty -- MYSTERY HOLE!!! Say it in a Monster Truck Rally announcer's voice. MYSTERY HOLE!!!

It led to us making about an hour's worth of rectum jokes. And you can't beat that with a stick.

I hope the rest of the vacation and birthday (wow is it already your birthday) are delightfully fun and pain free, Teppy.

mystery hole, snicker snicker

Kids! Last night the dog begins to bark and my son looks out the window to see what's up. He shrugs, "it's just a deer." You would never know he's a city kid.