Can that take place further out from the actual elopement so that you don't have to worry about planning it till after you get back? Having to stress about a celebration far in advance takes a lot of the benefit out of the elopement, to my thinking.

Very much this. Get yourselves married, and then plan your party -- if they really want a brunch the day after, they can show up at a restaurant and have a lovely meal by themselves, and gossip about how romantic and scandalous it all is.

Can that take place further out from the actual elopement so that you don't have to worry about planning it till after you get back? Having to stress about a celebration far in advance takes a lot of the benefit out of the elopement, to my thinking.

Possibly, although the plan is to leave mom in charge of everything and just show up. A plan that mom is fully behind, ftr. The problem is, if we get married in the fall, we'd want to have the celebration sometime before the holiday season, otherwise everything gets crazy and waiting until the spring seems like too long.

Very much this. Get yourselves married, and then plan your party -- if they really want a brunch the day after, they can show up at a restaurant and have a lovely meal by themselves, and gossip about how romantic and scandalous it all is.

I wasn't thinking the day after. Just sometime in the month or so following the elopement.

Ah, in that case, leave mom in charge. And make it clear to all those people who are bugging you about it that they need to talk to your mom, because you don't even know the details.

(If you really want to be a bitch about it, you can pretend that it was meant to be a surprise party and you had no idea until This Very Moment.)

Once you make your reservation for the inn or whatever, let your mom know the time frame. That should give enough time for people to make plans, etc.

(I'll also note that Nora is much nicer than me -- but seriously, right now, what people need is a general time frame to expect, and if everyone's happy with your mom planning the brunch, you can firmly direct all questions about the details to her.)

Why do people think someone else's marriage plans is any of their business? I mean, really.

ImemememeNews: Today is the first day of summer break, and yet I got up early to go take my car to the shop. Cheap repairs~ma, please.

And, I fully believe that emergency sirens should not be tested on days that it looks like there could really be a tornado. Sirens just went off, and I had a moment of "Oh, dear...tornado??" before I clued in that it's 10am on the first Tuesday of the month.

In case I haven't mentioned it recently, I love this board and the people on it.

I'll also note that Nora is much nicer than me

Heh, not really. My own theory about eloping is that the wedding and the ceremony is about the bride and groom and not about anyone else. If they can't make any post-wedding celebration, that's their problem, not mine.

Elopement is an inherently selfish thing to do- and I don't mean that in a negative way. It's the act of focusing on ourselves, not others. Trying to revolve around others' plans sort of makes the whole elopement thing not worthwhile. IME.

I fucking loved eloping and not giving a crap what other people thought. BEST TIME EVER.

See? Not nice!

Someday when I grow up, I want to stop caring what other people think.