I know I'll be shocked if it turns out N. D. is a toaster.

That's what you get for taking him in the bath with you.

BSG (Hot Dog)

Crap, I'm sorry everyone, work ate me from the bottom the last two days and I've been prepping for my class this evening. Let me see if I can get my move together.

BSG

Sorry for the delay. I have Hot Dog's orders. Let's hope it's all worth the wait. I think we can all agree, space is just getting too damn crowded out there. Hot Dog has answers!Let's start here:

Action 1: Play Combat Veteran 4.

He can now activate an RSV three times. Let's see, how about... let's move the RSV from Sector 5 to Sector 2.

Now how about Sector 4 there. 12 ships! Far too many. But Hot Dog can reduce that number! To 11.

Action 2: Reveal as a Cylon - add a Centurion to the Boarding Party track. This game we're going for a Viking motif, I think. Please welcome Harald Hardrada to Galactica.

Hot Dog now moves to the Resurrection Ship and discards down to three cards; he tosses:

Declare Emergency 4
Evasive Manoeuvre 2
Evasive Manoeuvre 2
Run Interference 3
Maximum Firepower 3
Repair 1

He also discards his mutiny cards, which were:

Controversial Speech
Selfish Act

There! Now there's only 11 ships in Sector 4. Tell you what, let's see if we can snag a raider activation. That'd make it even less crowded there. Zarek's crisis card is coming up next.

BSG

With both Cylons revealed, and with reference to Hark, a Vagrant, I think this is a good time for a quick pop quiz. Just a short interlude. First, for the humans:

When Adama's horse died (canon):

• All the other horses died too because: science
• Everyone was like "it's over" but then Adama was like no way and the Cylons were like way but he was like way and it ruled
• He used it as a weapon and slew many a Cylon!
• Han Solo had to open it up with a lightsaber to keep William warm and Rob Roy hid in it

How can I tell thou art a Cylon?

• For thou hast cavorted with Satan in a sexy way
• Because I could really use thy living quarters if thou happened to be a Cylon
• For the milk has gone sour and I understand science not
• For thou won't consent to a simple drowning test, the premise "offends thy good sense"

Now, questions for our Cylons:

Who was Hot Dog, really?

• The Earl of Toffee, heir to Her Majesty's cabbages
• Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the lead pipe
• Moriarty, damn his eyes! He's the Napoleon of crime!
• El Chupacabra

How much conquering is too much conquering?

• One hundred square miles
• Girl please that's like askin' how much chocolate is too much chocolate
• You can't contain that stuff man, you gotta roll with it
• Trick question! Now I've nuked your colonies

Think carefully. In other news, I must sadly report that Kalshane has been found electrocuted in his bath.

BSG (Zarek)

Hi, I'd like to go back in time and remind myself that at one time I suspected Hot Dog of being a Cylon and then not XO him. Thanks.

BSG (R.O.M.O)

welcome, brother

BSG

Hi, I'd like to go back in time and remind myself that at one time I suspected Hot Dog of being a Cylon and then not XO him. Thanks.

Gotcha. Zarek is now lost in an alternate universe. Should he still get a crisis card? Sure, why not! If this card has a raider activation, five civvies will be destroyed. It would be hard to recover from that. (And all because Zarek chose to XO Hot Dog!)

Zarek's crushing guilt... is mitigated! In fact, I have a nice, easy crisis for you. Zarek's crisis card is:

Water Shortage (E)
President's Choice

There is a Food Shortage with a raider activation; but this one fires up the basestars. President Apollo, when you're ready, please post your choice.

BSG (Zarek)

I can handle the discard.

Cally: PRESS THE BUTTON.

BSG (Cally)

Action 2: Reveal as a Cylon

Holy frakin' shit. I mean. What the hell. I did NOT see that coming. As BT will attest, I had suspicious eyes elsewhere. Gorrum!

Um, yeah, We gotta jump outta this place and lick our wounds. Then we gotta blast that border.

BSG (Zarek)

What the hell. I did NOT see that coming.

My suspicions were based entirely on who could have spiked that check. Nothing about his actual actions screamed Cylon to me. Godsdammit.