My heart expands / 'tis grown a bulge in't / inspired by / your beauty effulgent.

William ,'Conversations with Dead People'


The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Connie Neil - Sep 21, 2008 2:29:34 pm PDT #917 of 6687
brillig

[link] Photo 9

Mr. Parks dabbed at the sweat on his bald head. "Draw your curtains, Ruby. They're asking us to close the house."

I blinked at him, looked out at the people gathered around the box office, then reached for the cords that drew the velvet curtains that blocked the windows. The crowd yelled disapproval.

"How long will we be closed, Mr. Parks? Lola said--"

"It's nothing neither you nor Lola need worry about." He wiped his head again. There were spots of drying blood on his cuffs. "I'm sure it won't be long."


Connie Neil - Sep 21, 2008 2:41:24 pm PDT #918 of 6687
brillig

Photos 4 [link] and 5 [link]

They last saw Aunt Sadie in Miami, on the beach, moving fast. Something about a motor launch waiting, with the engine running.

They said she robbed that market in Jacksonville, but I didn't believe it. Someone tied up the clerk and pistolwhipped the manager, but Aunt Sadie? In her sensible suit and eyeglasses?

And what about Uncle Ralph? He came home from Florida alone, then moved to Kansas. Daddy whispered something about where the money for the new farm came from, but Mom shushed him.

I got a card from Sadie when I graduated high school, postmarked Costa Rica, but Mom took it away.


Laga - Sep 23, 2008 11:24:56 am PDT #919 of 6687
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.

photo drabbles are my favorite! Both of yours gave me goosebumps, connie.


Connie Neil - Sep 23, 2008 11:25:42 am PDT #920 of 6687
brillig

I adore the photos, they trigger the weirdest thoughts.


Barb - Sep 23, 2008 11:54:01 am PDT #921 of 6687
“Not dead yet!”

I really liked your first one, connie, but the second was absolutely chilling.


Connie Neil - Sep 23, 2008 12:11:34 pm PDT #922 of 6687
brillig

Did Ralph and Sadie split the money? Did Sadie let Ralph keep the money in return for her running off with Raoul in the motor launch?

What makes it particularly chilling? The apparent respectability masking the potential for a violent crime? I was going for melodrama and I'm curious where the twist is.


Laga - Sep 23, 2008 12:15:03 pm PDT #923 of 6687
You should know I'm a big deal in the Resistance.

I got a chill when Mom took away the postcard. It implied to me that there was something sinister about the whole affair that your Mom thought you weren't old enough to comprehend.


Connie Neil - Sep 23, 2008 12:18:23 pm PDT #924 of 6687
brillig

Boy, I wish I did those sorts of things consciously.


Barb - Sep 23, 2008 1:06:08 pm PDT #925 of 6687
“Not dead yet!”

Chilling is the juxtaposition between what you wrote and especially, with the second picture, how she appeared, running on the beach, but in a sensible suit, with her purse, tight against her, as if she's protecting the contents.


SailAweigh - Sep 23, 2008 6:11:46 pm PDT #926 of 6687
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

Boy, I wish I did those sorts of things consciously.

I'm right there with you, connie. I'm always surprised at what other folks pull out of my words. Sometimes, I want them to go there and I'm pleased I achieved it and other times, not even what I intended, but I'm still pleased because there should be more levels of meaning the more people who read it. I enjoy it when a reader opens my eyes about my own writing, it makes everything richer and adds to my internal literary repertoire.