I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.

Spike ,'Same Time, Same Place'


The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?

A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.


Anne W. - Apr 28, 2008 2:39:54 pm PDT #68 of 6674
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.

Wow! This is good stuff.


SailAweigh - Apr 28, 2008 3:23:44 pm PDT #69 of 6674
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

Housewarming

The mattress was lumpy under her cheek. It smelled vaguely like vomit and urine, although she'd washed it when she'd moved into the room. Her first piece of furniture.

She kept her face pressed resolutely into the futon. The hiss of a zipper presaged the clank of a belt buckle. Then, a rustle as a t-shirt was donned. The door opened and closed.

Tears trickled over her nose as she reached down to the cookie jar to feel the bills she'd placed there earlier. She'd made more in half an hour than a whole day panhandling at the parking garage.


Amy - Apr 28, 2008 3:32:29 pm PDT #70 of 6674
Because books.

Sail, your cookie jar is frigging amazing! God, I love this.


SailAweigh - Apr 28, 2008 3:36:45 pm PDT #71 of 6674
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

I'm having a great time writing these, but it's getting difficult to keep track of my timeline. I think I'm going to have to print them all out so I can arrange them and have them at hand to figure out where each new one fits.


Amy - Apr 28, 2008 3:39:38 pm PDT #72 of 6674
Because books.

You're going to wind up with a novel!


Typo Boy - Apr 28, 2008 3:48:08 pm PDT #73 of 6674
Calli: My people have a saying. A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.Avon: Life expectancy among your people must be extremely short.

I can't seem to do anything but totally frivolous or over the top dark:

Never lonely

I miss him every way there is to miss somebody, smell, taste, caress, breath and heart. I remember all the reasons he was dear to me, and all the reasons he was unbearable. I remember the drinking and the dark sarcasm that flowed from him in an endless stream when he was drunk. I remember the day his angry words turned into angry actions, and I stopped his blows with a fish knife.

Nobody thinks it anything but self-defense - not even me. But I loved and killed him; in the dark I'll never be alone, never free of him.


SailAweigh - Apr 28, 2008 3:52:07 pm PDT #74 of 6674
Nana korobi, ya oki. (Fall down seven times, stand up eight.) ~Yuzuru Hanyu/Japanese proverb

Nice one, Typo!


Susan W. - Apr 28, 2008 7:01:36 pm PDT #75 of 6674
Good Trouble and Righteous Fights

Those are both so intense, Typo and Sail!


Miracleman - Apr 29, 2008 4:13:13 am PDT #76 of 6674
No, I don't think I will - me, quoting Captain Steve Rogers, to all of 2020

The light snaps off and here we are, the chill night no match for the hard knot of ice in my stomach.

It went wrong somewhere along the line and I don’t know when or where, but all my confusion and sadness has coalesced and compacted to a grapefruit-sized lump of anger so hot it freezes me.

I can feel you shift on the mattress. I close my eyes. We will not talk because we don’t know what to say. To speak is an ending; I am afraid that my ice will erupt forth and shatter you.

It’s dark here.


Beverly - Apr 29, 2008 6:06:53 am PDT #77 of 6674
Days shrink and grow cold, sunlight through leaves is my song. Winter is long.

That's very powerful, MM.

If I might? I'd drop "forth" after erupt. Erupt is such a strong image in itself that "forth" robs it of power. If you want to use "forth," I would use a softer verb.

Otherwise, that paragraph is just gutting.