My writing is generally business letters and training materials, but this week I have had to write a eulogy, which I will also have to deliver. Yikes! I am able to read it aloud without issue, and will practice in front of my family before attempting this on Saturday.
Anyway, would it be okay to post it here and get any comments in case something is odd or should be changed? This seems as close to an appropriate thread as any.
eta: I am just going to post it for feedback. When I read it aloud it is 5 minutes, although I may have more pauses in front of a crowd.
Mom was everything a child could hope for in a mother. She loved unconditionally, she told us we were perfect, we were beautiful, she raised all smart kids, we could accomplish anything, and she absolutely believed it. We never heard her say a hateful thing in her life.
Mom was always active and engaged in life. She was on countless committees of many groups, in the church and with our schools, she was active in politics with her beloved Democrats, they even wanted her to run for office. I thought she should have, but she declined. She loved reading and learning, and took enough classes for multiple degrees, everything from law to belly dancing.
Anyone who spent time with Mom will remember her singing and poetry. When Mona's boys were treated to a refrain of "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to bed you go", youngster Scott asked the question we had all asked, "Does she have a song for everything?" Yes, yes she did. Any word or comment would set her off into a song or poem. And we all heard countless times, "I love you, a bushel and a peck, A bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck…" She would quote poems she learned in high school often, probably our favorite,
Ho, for the Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee!
He was as wicked as wicked could be,
But oh, he was perfectly gorgeous to see!
The Pirate Don Durk of Dowdee.
Her songs and poems filled our home, and hearts with joy.
She loved to cook but her grandmother never let her, so when she was newly married she enjoyed creating things. We laughed at the stories of her teaching herself to cook. When her grandma made chicken, she wrung the animal's neck, and defeathered and cleaned before cooking. When mom bought her first turkey at the store she didn't realize the giblets were all wrapped up in paper inside and didn't discover them until carving. Another time, she made way too much macaroni salad and when they got tired of eating it she just washed it off and put spaghetti sauce on it. And then there were the porcupine meatballs we never let her forget. The rice was supposed to be cooked before putting it in the meatballs, but she missed that step, so the meatballs had hard porcupine like needles sticking out of them. But with all her experimenting she became a wonderful cook. Which didn't stop us teasing her about her misses at all! She was so much fun to tease.
Mom was adorably naïve – when my dear friend Sandy graduated from High School, oh so many decades ago, Mom bought her what she thought was the "Fickle Finger of Fate" from Laugh In. Except it wasn't that finger. I had the task of explaining to her that it was an inappropriate gift.
Mom was incredibly caring and compassionate. I remember driving from Utica to Otter Lake many times in the 60s and 70s, and she always wanted to pick up hitchhiking hippies because they might be friends of Jim's. We didn't let her.
She was there for all of us and she took care of all of us. She had lost her own mother when she was a toddler and cherished her family. Not only her immediate and extended family, but the countless children she brought into her heart, and loved as her own throughout her life, many of whom are here today. Her loving Gram raised her, and she and my father in turn took care of Gram and Grandma Miller. Mom then lovingly cared for our dad in his final years. She always wore a smile even when in pain, and believed in focusing on love and gratitude rather than pain and sorrow. We heard her say repeatedly how she was so fortunate to have had two wonderful loving husbands, when we know they were the lucky ones.
She never believed it was possible, after being married for 39 years to dad, that she would ever consider doing it again, but years later while she was sharing her beautiful singing voice with the Bonita Springs Chorus, she met and fell in love with Marlin Markusson. They married in 1987. I cannot begin to count the number of times she asked me the same question, "What did I ever do to deserve Marlin?" For the final three decades of her (continued...)
( continues...) life Marlin loved, protected and cared for her, and every moment of every day she felt treasured, and she reciprocated that love. She felt extraordinarily blessed to be so loved, but we know she deserved it. The world was a far kinder and more beautiful place for 95 years for her presence and it is an emptier place for her loss. Thank you.
That's wonderful, Laura! It made me smile and tear up, so I can only imagine the affect it will have on the people who actually knew and loved your mom.
I asked my 3 sibs and step-dad for stories and went from there.
Thank you, Jesse.
That's an absolutely lovely tribute, Laura. I wish I'd known her. We all knew she was probably pretty wonderful to have raised such a stellar human as you.
Since it is to be read aloud I made myself read aloud as I was putting it together and editing. I think it flows easily enough to read. People will have to deal with me reading it from paper because I sure as heck can't memorize or ad-lib!
If anyone knows anything about how a bigger record company might acquire a small-but-profitable indie label(How long it takes, sticking points, etc,) you'll really help me get my novel right at last.
Thought I was really going to have a collaboration with another disabled artist, but he read my pitch and was like "That's not really what I do." And, in addition to feeling kind of hurt, part of me was like "I was going to pay you money and you always have a GoFundMe...what you do should be what I do, right now." But is he right? Have I been floating by the seat of my pants too much because I don't really have a capital-V Vision anymore?(although I can't say his is getting results that much more than mine since he's a caricuturist on Sunset Strip, which is better for street cred than commissions.)
I've always been interested in a lot of different things and that's what my clips are like, too, but should I have more of a sense of What I Do at this stage?(Except not, say, Ayn Rand companion volumes, obvs...I would do anything for love but I won't do that!)
