Another e-publishing story. It's fascinating to watch this trend, but really hard to know which it's going to go in a year or two.

I'm honestly considering giving it a go. I have some manuscripts sitting on the hard drive that aren't even going to be traditionally published because they bend so many rules, but I know they're good stories. My one concern is that the market for contemporary realistic fiction in e-publishing isn't quite there the way it is for paranormal.

Another e-publishing story. It's fascinating to watch this trend, but really hard to know which it's going to go in a year or two.

Jennifer Crusie has written some very interesting blog posts about e-publishing recently.

Her most recent post is about it, and it's fucking fascinating. I love Barbara Samuel, too -- she's been around the block a million times, she's a lovely writer, and I went to a workshop she gave which was thoughtful and helpful and really beautifully structured (which has not always been my experience).

E-pub has really taken hold strongly in para. And genre readers seem (to me) to be leading the trends in tech adapatations -- because we're big reading crackheads who want our crack, now, here.

I haven't read the Cruisie bit -- taking a smoke break from grading now -- but I know Joey Hill started at, I think, Samhain. I think Lilith St. Crow has epubbed some of her stuff that didn't quite suit publishers.

I don't know what the cost is, but the thing, from what I understand, with epubbing, is reputation and some badass aggro street marketing and some reviews of stuff.

Tangent: Ugh, I can't wait to be out of school so I can get the website up and running, and put out some writing. I would like to review some books on my personal blog -- I've been on a bit of a roll with it -- some writing, some pics, but I've been writing more consistently at it. And doing the other little jobs I have...I feel kinda juicified with the verbiage lately.

This has been such a hard thing for me to wrap my brain around in so many ways. For one, I'm stubborn and need to be beat repeatedly over the head to break out of my own stubborn mindset.

What I want to do is just write. I'm not interested in multi-media-- I've always liked the idea of traditional publishing because someone else does the work of copyediting (sometimes) and editing (sometimes) and cover design (when they don't fuck it up) and publicity (Ha!) and distribution (Okay, that one they win, sort of, but with the Borders cock up, even that's in question) and...

I look at people who can look at writing as a business-- who can say, "Oh, that's what's selling and I want to be a published author, so that's what I'll write" and I simply can't wrap my head around it. I can understand it, on an intellectual/practical level, but on a personal one, it escapes me. Yet, those are the people who seem to be succeeding. Me, with all my stupid, lofty principles of writing for the sake of writing the story I want to tell and all I'm doing is failing.

Lewis and I spent hours today talking about this and I'm trying to figure out a way that I can make it work for me. I am concerned about oversaturation, but the same could be said for publishing as a whole, so I'm not so sure how valid a concern that is. I'm also concerned about the metric shitton of promo/work involved in pimping oneself, which, as he reminded me, I have to do more and more of with the traditionally published books. Finally, he did say something that really hit home (and of course, being me, made me feel monumentally stupid, because of course, he's right)-- he said, "What has traditional publishing done for you in the last five years other than bring you to tears?"

What it boils down to is if I do nothing, I've got no one to blame but myself. If I do something and fail spectacularly, I have no one to blame but myself. I don't know if that amounts to empowering, but it does spotlight on whose shoulders the primary responsibility rests.

Ultimately, though I'm just so fucking scared of failing on yet another front.

Me, with all my stupid, lofty principles of writing for the sake of writing the story I want to tell and all I'm doing is failing.

You need to define what failure means to you, though. For a lot of people out there, you're a success -- three published novels and good reviews.

The thing about publishing, whether it's traditional or not (and the same is true of any art form), is that only some works are going to be homeruns.

If you're good enough -- or consistently delivering a product enough people want -- you can carry a few hits into a stable lifelong career. Think Stephen King, Nora Roberts. But they also started a long time ago, and had the kind of support from publishers that it's hard to get anymore.

Jennifer Crusie is example of someone who changed her product. Her sales have dropped, and even though I'm willing to read some of the newer stories, I'm not willing to read the collaborations -- I thought they were crap in comparison to her other books.

I don't think you've failed at all, but I would caution that it's dangerous to equate success with "huge bestseller" OR with "undisputed acclaim". Not a lot of people get both, for one, and very few people get either, despite the huge number of books that get published every year.

It's sad, but the market has changed. Not a lot of readers are willing to take a chance on a book that doesn't fit easily into a genre, because there are so many that DO, that they can get automatically.

Also? I'm nervous about Cold Kiss. Yeah, it's YA and it has a paranormal element, but it's not Twilight. There's no ill-fated love (in a continuing sense, or in a "fated to be together through Important Supernatural Goings On" way), there's no hero swooping in to rescue Wren, there's no real triangle. It's not the happiest ending ever.

I'm glad that Harper liked it enough to buy it, and I'm very grateful they're going to publicize it (online), but I have no idea if it's going to be something the target audience actually likes.

Barb, I really don't understand how you see yourself as a failure.

You're a published author, and you're working on two more books right now. I mean, most writers don't even get published. You have several times. And most writers have to work through some books, honing their craft, finding their voice? There are exceptions. What's the ratio, though?

I don't know shit, really, about publishing, but you keep writing and investigate and do whatever sounds intriguing to you.

You need to define what failure means to you, though.

Lewis said the same thing.

For me, it's never been about the money. I can honestly say that. But at the same time, when I started out, I truly felt that if I worked hard, delivered a good product, got some decent critical notice, and hopefully some sales, that it would be enough to build a career on.

Well, I did all those things. And got shuffled to another editor for my efforts because the one thing I did stand my ground on (a horrible title) pissed my editor off enough that she didn't want to work with me any longer. She also has the attention span of a gnat, got bored with the line, and moved on to other things within the house, so it wasn't totally my fault. However, while I worked well enough with Editor #2, I wasn't her preferred flavor of writer and she declined my option book.

Then came the Stars fiasco that ate up more than two years of my career and also dealing with agents who didn't work in my best interests, so there was that.

Stars finally finds its home and I thought, I'd found my perfect editor. And she loves my work. But despite the editor and the house saying they were excited by me and really wanted to help me grow my career, both in YA and adult, what it turned out to be was that they'd grow my career provided I gave them Stars v 2.0 for an option book. I want something different.

I know it's a matter of perspective and don't get me wrong, I'm extremely proud of the books I've produced, both published and unpublished, and I definitely think I've become a better writer with each one, but from the standpoint of three books/three editors, each book selling for a smaller advance than the one before it, still struggling to sell the next book, and still not being able to break into the adult market more than six years after I sold my first book is what contributes to feeling like a failure. Or at least as if I'm going backwards.

Jeebus, I'm sorry for dumping, y'all-- I must be hormonal or something.

What does the adult market mean to you, though? Is it because you want to write stories for adults, or because you think the adult market is more legitimate? (I don't mean that harshly, just honestly.)

If you want to write adult stories, you absolutely should. And the e-pub route might be perfect for that.

I wrote books for adults. I think, like, twenty people have ever read them, and a lot of them are on this board. I wasn't trying to fool myself about whether they were *art* but I did try to write the best books that sounded like *me* in that genre. And I'm glad I did it, even though I'm not making royalties and never garnered a following. It was still writing, and I was getting to do it instead of other things I didn't want to do.

Writing the book of your heart every time and having it sell is a wonderful dream, and every writer has it, but it's just not always going to happen. I hate to suggest that anyone lower their standards, but I would say ... think about how you can tell the story you want to tell in a way that most people will want to read? I don't think it's impossible to do that, and I think it's still valuable.