Going through the process so far is making me think I should work on my pitch for the new book now at the beginning. If I can't make a good pitch with my current outline, then maybe I need a more compelling plan. It'll make the real pitch when I'm done easier to write as well I would think.

My wife suggested a different approach, which I'm currently mulling over. This plays up the relationship of the two lead female characters, the MC's friend-interest, which is the more important relationship compared to the love-interest, who doesn't actually get mentioned here at all.

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The day she was stabbed by the assassin was not the day Aimee’s life hit rock bottom. Nor was it the day Aimee discovered that same, very beautiful assassin was a member of the expedition she had joined or even the day that assassin seduced Aimee’s lover. That day came in the midst of the Wild— untamed lands held by the hostile Fari—when the expedition leader and Aimee’s mentor betrayed her and left her for dead. Aimee discovered then that she had reserves of determination and grit that she hadn’t known she had. Before Aimee can stop her former mentor from taking control of the Dead Mountain and using its powerful magic to remake the world, she must make her way out of Fari lands alive and get into the Dead Mountain. Aimee’s only hope for help, she discovers, is the assassin.

THE DEAD MOUNTAIN is a fast-paced epic fantasy in which the developing friendship between the two female main characters is the key to saving everything. It is a heart-breaking tale of love and loss, survival and triumph. As with Kristen Britain’s Green Rider, the story features a female hero who relies more on her wits and determination than on swords and spells. The manuscript is complete at 120,000 words.

Does it seem like a better approach?

Oh, that's much more interesting!

I agree! That sounds fab!

Overall, great.

I think "Aimee’s only hope for help, she discovers, is the assassin." is an extremely flaccid last sentence.

"Now Aimee has to ally with the same assassin and rival." Still not great but better.

How about just "Aimee's only hope is the assassin."

Shorter and more stark.

I think it's an interesting angle for the pitch, Gud, but the pitch itself is reading a little clunky to me.

I need more caffeine before I'd attempt to tweak it, though.

So ... I totally forgot about that. Do you want me to take a shot at it, Gud?

And Gar, do you have a pub date for your book?

Author people, see my post in Press. And spread the word!

Don't know pub date. My drop dead deadline for having everything in is June 1, though they would rather have it sooner. Isn't publication usually a year to 18 months after that? On the other hand, with a small publisher which does limited publicity (even compared to the little bit that big publishers do) maybe turnaround is faster. Year to 18 months always seem long to me, but the reference books that explained it made convincing cases for why that needed to be