That's looking great, Gud.

Good stuff Gud!

I love that. The only quibble I have (and should have said sooner) is "Humanity teeters on the brink"

Could you reword that so it's not a cliche? I can't actually think of a way, but I think it would be a good thing.

Thanks, all.

Maybe:

Humanity, hunted by demons and a savage race called the Fari, huddles within the mystical barriers that protect the few remaining cities. A mad priest threatens their survival when he reawakens the ancient power of the Dead Mountain to bring forth an apocalyptic battle.

I'm also trying to reword:

Her only help is an assassin: a woman with a tongue as sharp as her knives who once nearly killed her.

It doesn't seem to flow that well to me.

Her only help is an assassin with a tongue as sharp as her knives. Dare Aimee trust the woman who once nearly killed her?

Maybe we need to know why the assassin nearly killed her? I mean, it wasn't like a car accident. It was deliberate. Or maybe we don't need to know the assassin tried to kill her before.

Her only help is an untrustworthy assassin, a woman with a tongue as sharp as her knives.

I'd be intrigued by untrustworthy without having pesky questions about why the woman almost killed our heroine.

eta: otherwise, I like Gar's version, except "Dare she..." is a bit fantasy cliche too.

Also, I would remove the word "However" in the middle. That always strikes me as academic writing, or awkward, anyway.

Humanity, hunted by demons and a savage race called the Fari, huddles within the mystical barriers that protect the few remaining cities. A mad priest threatens their survival when he reawakens the ancient power of the Dead Mountain to bring forth an apocalyptic battle.

Aimee Fallon, a sheltered creator of magical gadgets, discovers a mysterious artifact—the key to stopping the Mountain’s magic—and joins an expedition to destroy the power’s threat. Along the way, she is betrayed by those she trusts and abandoned in hostile Fari lands with a forbidden lover who suspects her of murdering his kin. Her only hope for help is a sharp-tongued woman who once tried to kill her. Aimee must sacrifice everything she loves to save all she knows.

THE DEAD MOUNTAIN is a fast-paced 120,000-word fantasy adventure mixed with romance and betrayal and a female hero who relies on her wits and determination rather than swords and spells.

#

Thanks everybody. This is my latest iteration, trying to smooth things out a bit. Technically the woman in question didn't really try to kill her, just badly wound her indifferent to whether it was fatal or not. Definitely not an accident though. There is a sacrifice to be made at the end so I tried to sneak that in as well.

Gud, how about, "...a sharp-tongued woman with her own agenda"?

I think I'd tweak the end, too, to make it, "...who relies more on her wits and determination than swords and spells," since there are still some swords and spells involved, right?

Hunted by demons and a savage race called the Fari, humanity barely survives in cities protected by mystical barriers. A mad priest threatens that survival when he reawakens the ancient power of Dead Mountain.

Aimee Fallon, a sheltered creator of magical gadgets, discovers a mysterious artifact — the key to preventing an apocalyptic battle — and joins an expedition to destroy the Dead Mountain's threat. On the journey, she is betrayed by those she trusts and left to to face the Fari, demons and a forbidden lover who suspects her of murdering his kin. Her only hope is a sharp-tongued female assassin with a hidden agenda. To save all she knows, Aimee must sacrifice everything she loves.

THE DEAD MOUNTAIN is a fast-paced 120,000-word fantasy adventure mixed with romance and betrayal and a female hero who relies on her wits and determination more than swords and spells.

Thanks for all the input. I think I'm getting set on this.

since there are still some swords and spells involved, right?

She doesn't do spells and barely uses a sword, but other people do.