Jilli, it makes sense to me, but I think perhaps putting the first "costume" in single quotes might ensure clarity.
I know, world in peril and we have to work together. This is my last office romance, I'll tell you that.
Buffy ,'End of Days'
The Great Write Way, Act Three: Where's the gun?
A place for Buffistas to discuss, beta and otherwise deal and dish on their non-fan fiction projects.
Anne W. - Oct 27, 2009 1:19:50 pm PDT #2745 of 6690
The lost sheep grow teeth, forsake their lambs, and lie with the lions.
Polter-Cow - Oct 27, 2009 1:20:40 pm PDT #2746 of 6690
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
I would remove "to that screaming" from the end, Jilli. It's unnecessary and, I think, what is causing your beta to find the sentence awkward.
Amy - Oct 27, 2009 1:26:02 pm PDT #2747 of 6690
Because books.
I would also take off the "to that screaming".
Atropa - Oct 27, 2009 1:27:25 pm PDT #2748 of 6690
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.
Hmm, okay. I'll remove the "to that screaming". Thank you, gang!
Allyson - Oct 27, 2009 8:13:09 pm PDT #2749 of 6690
Wait, is this real-world child support, where the money goes to buy food for the kids, or MRA fantasyland child support where the women just buy Ferraris and cocaine? -Jessica
Last polish sent off to agent, and then she'll send off to publishers, likely tomorrow. I really need to change the home page on my website.
I figure with the holidays approaching, I won't hear back until February.
On to the next book...
Barb - Oct 28, 2009 3:14:43 am PDT #2750 of 6690
“Not dead yet!”
On to the next book...
Good on you. That's EXACTLY what you need to be doing.
And you know what? You just never know when you might hear anything. Yeah, we're coming up on the holidays, but it's possible someone will read over Thanksgiving and want to make an offer in December. It happens.
Hang in there.
Gudanov - Oct 28, 2009 5:13:36 am PDT #2751 of 6690
Coding and Sleeping
Good Luck Allyson!
I made good progress on 23, but it's taking longer to get past the new stuff than I thought. Thank goodness I cut out a bunch of stuff at this point in the plot. I guess I will press onward with 23 until I hit a point that would make a good chapter break. I think there is some slack in my chapter plan that I can use to prevent word count from exceeding my goal.
In my plan, I had always thought about splitting it off in two directions during my next revision. One, the straightforward revision and two, a modified version without the more adult stuff solely so my daughter could read it. Now I wonder if I could turn that second version into a full-fledged YA derivative. Food for thought, I suppose.
Barb - Oct 28, 2009 10:36:30 am PDT #2752 of 6690
“Not dead yet!”
Meep!
Carmen may be a Fall 2010 book!
MEEEEEEEEEP!
Polter-Cow - Oct 28, 2009 10:54:16 am PDT #2753 of 6690
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!
Nice!
sj - Oct 28, 2009 10:58:47 am PDT #2754 of 6690
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
Carmen may be a Fall 2010 book!
YAY!!!