Is what it is. I'm really thinking that after this round of submissions is over I may just take a break and not try to get an agent. Could be that I'm just willing to say that publishing has won this round and perhaps, the overall fight. I mean, I've got a fairly healthy ego, but I'm not completely immune to being repeatedly told that I'm good-- just not good enough.

I predict "VICTORY!" in your future, Barb.

being repeatedly told that I'm good-- just not good enough.

Doesn't seem like that's really what your being told. More like "Your good, but unusual, and we don't know what to do with unusual"

Which is as much of an obstacle, but shouldn't be as much of an ego ding.

I don't think it's a matter of not being good enough, Barb. I think it's a matter of being a little outside the norm in a *really* tight market. Which could change, you know?

Doesn't seem like that's really what your being told. More like "Your good, but unusual, and we don't know what to do with unusual"

You're probably right, but the end result is that it feels like "not good enough," because you hear with a fair amount of regularity about the rule breakers and benders who have the breakout books. But as Amy said, it's a tight market and people are far less willing to take chances right now.

I don't have a lot of ego invested in writing because it's not what I do. My opinion of my draft seems to take massive leaps from, "hey this is pretty good" to "this a big steaming piece of crap".

One of my wife's comments from the last chapter:

"You are a bloodthirsty author, aren't you! I think if I hadn't known it before now, I'd be really sure a guy was writing this. I'm trying to think of the last fantasy novel I read where the main characters were dropping like flies in sudden, often brutal, ways."

It's only four characters so far. That's only 0.236 characters per chapter.

you hear with a fair amount of regularity about the rule breakers and benders who have the breakout books.

I wonder if that is really true.

But as Amy said, it's a tight market and people are far less willing to take chances right now.

I'm sure that's true.

you hear with a fair amount of regularity about the rule breakers and benders who have the breakout books.

That's most true when you have a publisher who thinks they can exploit some angle as "rule-bending" and sell more books. It's not always true with regard to quality or actual uniqueness.

I wonder if that is really true.

Oh sure it is-- at least if you're keeping an ear to the industry gossip. But those deals are the ones you hear about even if the occasion of them are in the minority comparatively speaking. You hear about Stephenie Meyer being pulled from the slush pile or Christopher Paolini being discovered by Carl Hiaassen's stepson. You hear about The Lace Reader going from self-pubbed to six-figure deal or how Water For Elephants became a huge summer read based on the handsell marketing campaign the publisher put together for it. And you read the books and as a general rule, you can't help but wonder, "What made this one so special? What made it stand out?"

Water for Elephants is probably the exception of the ones I mentioned because it really was an outstanding book, but the others?

Now I'm thinking about the fantasy books I've read. Oddly, I haven't read very many in a long time. The last one I've read all the way through was a reread of the Lord of the Rings trilogy which I had read first time a bit over two decades ago.

I started a G.R.R. Martin book but I couldn't get into it.

Before then a C.S. Friedman book, but I didn't think it was nearly as good as her Coldfire Trilogy.

Mostly I've read Sci-Fi of late. I haven't read anything since starting on my project, no time.