How about...
Shimmer’s Place, the bar in which I sat and hoped for a gig, ran a wall of TV’s, all of them constantly tuned to the various news outlets. Shimmer had become a true info-junkie after he busted out of St. Lawrence Meta-Medium; he was convinced that Maximan was able to find him through data-mining all the news sources in real-time using Professor Highbrow’s Ultimac computer. His wall was his way of seeing if he was being tracked. Which was stupid, because it was more likely that Shimmer's own incompetence was what had got him busted.
Hey Joe-- I thought it had an interesting beginning-- I really liked the opening line-- gives a very immediate feel, like you're about to be dropped right into some very interesting action.
Thing is, though, with respect to your actual question, "would I buy it something that starts like this?" is that you put it out there too baldly. Since on just a pure read, it seems sort of like a sci-fi or post-apocalyptic piece and those aren't genres I'm familiar with-- for me to want to read it, I have to have some idea what it is.
So you has to give at least a little context before anything else, the same way anyone going into a bookstore or an editor looking at a proposal would have context. Make sense?
Yeah, I guess.
I was just feeling tentative about continuing with it and was hoping for a "AWESOME! I will give you four million dollars to finish it!". Well, not really, but you know.
I'm just gonna go ahead and keep writing and see what happens, I guess. As usual.
Honey, we ALL want awesome and I will give you four million dollars to finish it. *g*
FWIW, I think it's really engaging, I just have to know WHAT I'm reading in order to give a fair assessment.
By all means, keep writing-- see what happens. It's what we do, babe. I swear.
It's...comic books. And sci-fi.
Like, you want it to be a comic book? Or it's using comic book-like characters?
Either way, nothing to do but write if it's interesting you right now, you know? You need to let it grow, figure out what the plot is, all that.
I liked it. Very lively...would I buy it?
I don't know...are there dirty parts?
Like, you want it to be a comic book? Or it's using comic book-like characters?
It's using comic-book-type characters and events.
That's a great idea. To me, anyway, and keep in mind I don't read a lot of books like that, or comic books.
It's using comic-book-type characters and events.
I think that rocks. Seriously-- with comic books/graphic novels and the films from the aforementioned doing so well, I think it's an awesome take.
