Oh God msbelle. I'd freak out if there were shooting in my neighborhood.

(OK, it might had to do with the fact that I'm living 40 minutes walk from the Old City, and shooting in my neighborhood will have another meaning, but still).

Hivemind:

I don't have the energy to deal with "So, do you have a boyfriend?" questions in the wedding I'm going to today.

Any suggestions to answers that will imply people, who I don't necessarily dislike, that this is not their business?

How rude are you willing to appear, Shir? Is icy disdain okay?

You know what? I don't know. There's not an awful lot of room in that scenario to imply. You can either answer the question or not (honestly or not) or throw up a distraction--in your case the very "this isn't your business!" being at the top of the line of candidates.

Unless of course, you wear a pin.

"well, not one that is here."
"is that all you have to ever talk with me about?"
"no, but I'll let you know when I want to discuss my personal life with you, so no need to ask anymore, ok?"

also counter with any personal questions they might not want to discuss: embarrassing incidents, childrens' missteps, their health/weight/bad habits. Or to be softer, not a question about those things, just ask them how they would like it if people always brought their personal stuff up.

"No, Thank God." Might throw some people. Or it could make them peer deeper into your psyche. Unless you can think of something funny to throw them off, I think ita is spot on.

I've responded with "Now why would I do that?" and laughing. It disarmed them and closed the topic. Of course, who know what they thought.

My skirt lining is attacking me.

Shir:

"Thanks for asking, but I generally don't discuss these matters." Then pretend someone's signaling you, excuse yourself, and stride across the room.

Thanks, you gave me things to think about.

ita, that's the thing: I don't want to be rude. If I wanted to attack them in anyway, I'd say "no, I have a girlfriend" and watch them twist in their seats, but... I know they're not doing this to piss me off. It seems like a legitimate question, but God help me, I can't understand WHY it is.

Or I'll go with the usual sharp deadly "no", or with the "yes/no" through out the evening, so no one will know.

Arrg, weddings.

Thanks for asking, but I generally don't discuss these matters.

Oh, I hope that will help. Though knowing Israelis, automatically the next question will be "why?" and it will look like I ran in order not to answer it.

"So, do you have a boyfriend?"

"His wife hates it when I call him that!"

You might want to go with something more like Wolfram suggested, although I always preferred a dodge, "Thanks for asking! What's [name of asker's husband/child/etc] these days?" because then they get distracted answering your more open ended question.