My dad has been convinced for several years that he is dying anytime now. (He may, he's not in great health, though nothing in particular is heading to dead, specifically) On the way out of the house my sister and I were discussing his "but you might get hit by a bus!" thing--earlier, she'd shown up for dinner while my mom and I were still at the movies, and dad had run to the store. She was like "Eh, I figured he'd died and you were all at the hospital" (our cellphones were off, in the movie, and dad doesn't have one).
She said dad told her his wishes recently, because he's obsessed lately...but then said she tuned it out! I was like "Ah well. He'll be dead, what'll he do, haunt us?"
In non-medical news, the trails of Mt. Davidson are currently covered in forget-me-nots. So pretty. And a total throwback to my childhood.
Mom talked my dad out of donating his body to science. We're all fine with organ donation, but the idea of him being someone's medical cadaver was a bit creepy.
It might be possible that the world needed an open-toed boot, but I'm pretty sure this ain't it. How hideous.
At least Leeloo from The Fifth Element now has shoes to go with her outfit.
I did a quick google and came up with a 5 wishes PDF that seemed like it outlined some important stuff, but wishes 3 through 5 are all schmoopy and shit, so NSM.
A part of it reads:
Life-support treatment means any medical procedure, device or medication to keep me alive. Life-support treatment includes: medical devices put in t o help me breathe; food and water supplied by medical device (tube feeding); CPR; major surgery; blood transfusions; antibiotics; dialysis and anything else meant to keep me alive.
Reading that I realise I don't put artificially assisted nourishment in the same box as artificially assisted breathing--if I'm unconconscious and can breathe for myself I totally don't think about it as big a deal as if I'm unconscious and can't.
Also, I'd have no hesitation about CPR--it's the state I'm in after that that makes the difference.
But I guess the focus is--this is in play if you cannot communicate. Simply enough--if I can't, and it really doesn't look like I'm going to regain that ability, yank it! That's the long and the short of my directives. If I'm not walking out of that room, might as well carry me out right about now.
Mom talked my dad out of donating his body to science. We're all fine with organ donation, but the idea of him being someone's medical cadaver was a bit creepy.
My Mom said she was happy I was an organ donor, but the thought of my eyes going somewhere really upset her.
I suppose the whole windows to the soul/focus of expression and attention thing means they're more closely identified with the person than other parts.
I did have to talk Mom into allowing a viewing for the family since she didn't like the idea of being seen postmortem. I think it's very important for one's nearest and dearest to have that last look so they can get closure and understand on a visceral level that the person is gone. The viewings and open casket funerals we've had for other relatives have struck me as something that's necessary even if they weren't comforting.
I did have to talk Mom into allowing a viewing for the family since she didn't like the idea of being seen postmortem. I think it's very important for one's nearest and dearest to have that last look so they can get closure and understand on a visceral level that the person is gone. The viewings and open casket funerals we've had for other relatives have struck me as something that's necessary even if they weren't comforting.
I heartily disagree, and I plan on never attending a funeral for that reason. But different strokes for different folks.
I'd definitely allow people the option to see my corpse. I know it's made a tremendous difference to me. Some people grieve without that, some grieve with it. Just make sure it's opt in.
hmm... corpse at funerals tend to look so fake. I had to leave when I saw my friend B' father. he was a very male man - seeing him with make up - too funny in a nonfunny situation.
Open casket is customary in my family/regional culture, and I wish it wasn't. With distant relatives or family friends I've been able to duck the issue by staying in the outer rooms of the funeral home during the viewings, but there's just no way I could've avoided seeing my dad's or my grandparents' bodies, and I hate it. I already knew they were dead. I didn't need to see a waxen, lifeless shell to prove it to myself.
