Would you krav the dude, ita?

"Righteous woman, would you like Sabbath candles?"

It would kinda make my day to be asked this. Probably because I live in Seattle and the odds of it happening are only a teeny tiny bit above zero.

I'd like a "no" shirt. Anything to contradict the sign I'm evidently wearing, invisible to me but clear to everyone else, that says, "Hi! Ask me for directions! I know where I'm going and am kind and helpful!"

The problem is, it's mostly true. I just don't know why I get asked more often than any of the other people from my office, who are equally non-threatening and also wearing visible employee badges, especially given the way I walk around so locked in my own little world that you all but have to jump in front of me and say, "Boo!" to get my attention in the hall. It's happened all my life, though--it's just picked up in intensity since I started working at a hospital.

I don't understand what the dude didn't get about it being on par with getting harassed on the subway.

It's basically his own version of Mardi Gras, isn't it?

Which one is tonight? I've lost track of your schedule.

Empires. I'm going to watch their set, take some pictures if I can, possibly mock them to their faces if there's time, and then run away from them before they can give me mono. And before Al the impossibly hot bassist can tell me something gross that I didn't need to know. To ice the foot that hates me from standing for 11 hours a day and pogoing because Gerard Way told me to.

I wish this was the kind of world where say, 'Wow, I'd like to punch you in the face,' and people would understand that it's not a way of reducing you to a set of bruises and ignoring the rest of you, but rather a way of saying that I may not yet know your mind, but your face inspires passion.

this.

Krav shall set you free.

vote we set Krav free unto the OSBP.

dried cranberries:

DH is trying to text me in l33t. iz funnee. and wrong.

lung clam

Well that's a new one on me. So gross, yet evocative.

Before I committ any more comma abuse, please punctuate this sentence:

Constituency records are the private records of the Minister, and therefore are outside the scope of this procedure.

Take out the comma. You don't need it in between the compound verb.

Though I would probably switch "therefore" and "are."

Constituency records are the private records of the Minister and are therefore outside the scope of this procedure.

I need to find an image of a very minor character from Cecil B. Demented - anyone have any ideas?