“They, like me, would rather feel alone in a marriage than actually be alone, because they, like me, realize that marriage ultimately isn’t about cosmic connection—it’s about how having a teammate, even if he’s not the love of your life, is better than not having one at all.”
And then, for people who actually like themselves, there's the option of not getting married until you find someone worth marrying. What's so horrible about being single that the constant company of someone you don't like and aren't attracted to would be preferable? I realize I'm on the extreme end of the self-sufficiency/cranky loner scale when it comes to the impulse to couple up, but there's a difference between being realistic about how stable marriages and Harlequin romances differ and being so needy for external validation that anything would be better than being alone.
It's perhaps cruel of me, but I'm grinning at the thought that any man with half a brain will be able to pick up the waves of desperation coming off the author and react appropriately (i.e. run fast in the opposite direction).
I read that stupid article, and can sum it up like this: I decided to have a child on my own and now I wish I had a partner to share the brute labor of child care, so I am all sour grapes.
She 1) claims that all unmarried women over 30 want to be married and have children (I can name several Buffistas who: neither), 2) claims that women who do not marry do so because they are too picky and break up with perfectly nice boyfriends because they are expecting some cosmic Mr. Big soulmate passion connection (many of the single women I know who do want to be married are not exactly turning down proposals regularly) and 3) suggests you consider marrying someone who is the person you most want to spend time with but the thought of embracing 'sends a cold shudder down your spine' (this just makes no sense - how can you be literally disgusted by someone you really like?)
Feh, I say.
Timelies all!
I'm kinda glad that article didn't come out 10 years ago, because I'd probably get a copy of it from my folks. I'm glad G and I found each other, because the idea of getting married just to get married? Sad.
3) suggests you consider marrying someone who is the person you most want to spend time with but the thought of embracing 'sends a cold shudder down your spine' (this just makes no sense - how can you be literally disgusted by someone you really like?)
Um... a close blood relative?
She 1) claims that all unmarried women over 30 want to be married and have children (I can name several Buffistas who: neither)
That was the part at which I stopped reading. Which, happily, was pretty freaking early on in that piece.
Yeah, she goes on to mention that if the marriage fails and you end up being a single mother, at least someone's on the hook for alimony and taking the kid off your hands from time to time. What a warm and loving woman she is.
Take note, if you get Nutty in a Secret Santa drawing.
Tonight's dinner will be popcorn again, and I'm obsessing over the idea of getting melted cream cheese over the whole thing. Fixated, I tell you. I cannot imagine how I went this long without a popper. And, really, even though I want cream cheese over everything, they're still plenty delicious naked.
suggests you consider marrying someone who is the person you most want to spend time with but the thought of embracing 'sends a cold shudder down your spine' (this just makes no sense - how can you be literally disgusted by someone you really like?)
Embracing? Well, I hug pretty much all my friends. So no, no chill spine. But usually if someone is a good friend, the thought of sleeping with them probably does send a chill down my spine. Ew. Like sleeping with my sister or something. Just wrong.
ita, we need a stompy for thread creation.
Damn you, ita -- I still haven't bought kernels for popping!
