it's all too good and something is going to go horribly wrong.

Nothing's going to go wrong. After all, it's not a restaurant.

That does sound great, sj! You can put that $155 in your account every month towards house-buying!

I really, really hope you enjoyed telling your present landlady that she's lost you as a tenant.

I know we're glad March is over, but can we put April on notice?

ALL THREE OF US are home sick today. Ugh....

MM, I'd say I'd trade my phone for yours (it only rings once every 4-5 days and by ring once, I mean it rings once and shuts up because no one ever calls me and it's some phantom ring), but that would be a really bad deal for me and for the poor saps calling me.

Might be fun, though.

Phone: Hey, how's it...who the hell are you? *ring*

SailAweigh: I'm SailAweigh. I'll be answering you today.

Phone: Oh. Well. Oh. It's just that nobody told...but, you know what? It's cool. MM was getting crazy, you know? Just totally thousand-yard-stare gonna-bring-a-gun-to-work-someday spooky. *ring*

SailAweigh: That shouldn't be a problem with me.

Phone: Good to hear. Good to hear. *ring*

SailAweigh: Thanks.

Phone: So. Uh...*ring*

SailAweigh: Hm?

Phone: Just...you gonna answer me? *ring*

SailAweigh: Oh! Right!

FCO'tD: Blah blah blah blah blah blah I'm an idiot blah blah blah do something about it blah blah blah supremely aggressive and entitled tone.

SailAweigh: GO FUCK YOURSELF, MEATSOCK! I WILL KILL YOU! I HAVE YOUR ADDRESS!

Phone: I think I preferred the thousand yard stare.

I really, really hope you enjoyed telling your present landlady that she's lost you as a tenant.

I made TCG do it because every time I got on the phone with her she tried to sell another one of her apartments to us.

That does sound great, sj! You can put that $155 in your account every month towards house-buying!

Yes! Some of it may be used to make up the difference in oil heat, but there still should be some savings in there. In the meantime, it feels more like a house where I can put planted herbs on the porch and not have to drag my laundry to Mom's every week.

a little silliness for the day

my silly post for the library blog

[link]

Apparently I made a typo of my new big boss's name in an e-mail yesterday. He wasn't copied on the message, thankfully, but I'm going to have to be careful in the future. I know we have talked about messing up people's names in the past, but when that typo turns them into Christ, it could get sticky.

ummm oops, suzi

I don't think I've mentioned how much Joe's little phone/MM conversations crack me up, so, for the record - cracked the fuck up. Yes indeed.

Anyway, meanwhile, I'm really having one of those I-Think-I'm-Starring-In-A-Crap-Sitcom kind of evenings. I can practically hear the laugh track. So having returned home after tutoring a kid after school, I got changed to go down to the gym. It was 6pm - I had time for half an hour in the gym, then jump in a shower, then jump into new clothes, then dash out and jump into a taxi with 30 mins or so to get to the 7.30 rehearsal for my play.

As I was standing outside the elevator waiting to go downstairs to the gym, listening to Hedwig-the-iPod-shuffle, a faint voice in the back of my head screamed: 'Are you sure it's 7.30?'

Hmm, I thought to myself. Hmmm, my self thought back. So I scurried back to the apartment and checked my email.

FUCK! Nope, nope, because we've got a photoshoot (for which we should be taking clothes, and I've got the clothes all set out), we're supposed to be there at 6.30 at the latest.

FUCK!

I am in no fit state to be in sexy cleavagey dress etc. At all. Fuck.

Jump into shower, frantically shave legs at a million miles an hour, jump out of shower, manage not to slip and break neck (even with the assistance of the cat), leap into new clothes, leap out of new clothes, put new clothes on again, but right way round rather than back-to-front, scoop up dress and heels and wallet and script and hurtle out of house.

Jump into Tuk Tuk.

Pray to the Traffic Gods.

Hear their hollow laughter. It is 6.15, foolish mortal, and you know fine well that the 10 minute drive you need to take will not be less than 30 mins if you are very lucky indeed, for the traffic she is PACKED.

Also, I have managed to find the only Tuk Tuk in Bangkok that likes to go slow and take it easy. "Can't we overtake illegally like they just did?" I implore my driver. Eventually he does a little bit of the driving-on-the-wrong-side-of-the-road to humour me, but mostly, not so much with the humouring.

I look at my phone.

It is 6.30 and I am still on my own street.

I make small whimpering noises.

Eventually we arrive at the place. I am only 15 minutes late, so it's not too bad. As I fly up the stairs, my phone starts ringing. "Where are you?" asks the director. "Here! I'm here! Look!" I say, waving at her through the window.

And then I spent the next 4 hours demonstrating no social skills because of the proximity of A Bloke I Fancy, (who was in a tux) and boggling at the sheer smoking hotness of the very lovely straight girl I fancy. Who was snuggled into my cleavage for half the photo shoot, and who later asked me to unzip her and help her rip off her corset and then rezip her. Um. Leaving her sans underwear in the general breast region. Um. And then there was the talk of jello wrestling.

Good GOD.

No wonder I drank vodka on an empty stomach and spent most of the rehearsal giggling like a lunatic.

Meanwhile, the Oddly Crackly Ear thing continues apace.

but when that typo turns them into Christ, it could get sticky.

Uh oh.

sj, that's fabulous! I knew you'd gotten the apartment, but I didn't realize it was SO much cheaper. Also, check Craigslist for a portable dishwasher. They have them there for SO much cheaper than buying a new one...and often they're not that old.

Hi, all. Pulling myself out from the thesis to say hi! So, hi!

Also, what is with the difficult tutoring students this semester? I have one that's about to have a nervous breakdown and one that just outright lied to me. Feh on them all.