and when we're all herded into the conference area and are forced to sing, he whips out a conductor's baton and "conducts" us.
AUGH. Death death death.
Seriously. And when I see my co-workers laughing and clapping while he "conducts," I begin to wonder if they are, in fact, mentally deficient. Like, actually clinically so.
One of them, in fact, has dubbed himself the "bandleader," and when we're all herded into the conference area and are forced to sing, he whips out a conductor's baton and "conducts" us.
"Sorry to see you here in the ER, Mr. BandleaderFuckcake. What seems to be the problem?"
"A coworker shoved a conductor's baton up my ass."
Oh, would that I could!
I think I love my workplace right now. Someone brought in a homemade chocolate peanut butter cake today. She put it in the staff room and sent out an email that said, "help yourself!"
And when I see my co-workers laughing and clapping while he "conducts," I begin to wonder if they are, in fact, mentally deficient.
"Mr. Fry, your 2:00 magician is here."
"Believe it or not, I have more important things to do today than laugh and clap my hands. .... Reschedule."
Someone brought in a homemade chocolate peanut butter cake today. She put it in the staff room and sent out an email that said, "help yourself!"
We do that, too. (We eat a LOT around here.) But in addition to the no-strings-attached free food, we also have the forced-conviviality events 3 times a month.
Ptui.
Scola, it took you WAY longer than I expected!
Doesn't anyone read Miss Manners anymore?
"Well, she's just a killjoy poopy-head! It builds morale! It makes the company not such a dull place to come to every day!"
At my company, there is a mailing group just for the women of the company, where they all go out to lunch on the occasional Friday--that is, the one's who work the office-type jobs, not the tech support jobs where we actually have to be at our desks doing our jobs, not out Lunching With The Girls. The last email was "amusing", there was even a "Wow, this has gotten so big, with some many gals working here now!"
It's a software company, so the only women working here were in HR and reception and a couple in Sales, but now there's all these women showing up in Tech Support and Customer Service and all that--gosh! Welcome to Happy Valley, Utah, set your calendars back fifty years.
We do low-key office birthday parties. A few baked goods, a card, maybe some flowers for the women. And we spend half an hour chatting about non-work stuff. It isn't terribly painful.
Happy Valley? Seriously?
Ok, there is a place I belong less than I belong here.
Sorry, I'm busy at work today. Also, out of practice.
