Oh no. I frighted by the scrary idle threats from the mostly frozen man.

I will thaw, sir. Someday...I will thaw.

That funding can be arranged MM.

I'm in for at least $50 if it means MM can deliver a beating on my behalf.

It's like a telethon!

It's like a telethon!

Call the toll-free number on the bottom of the screen to reserve YOUR exclusive smackdown! Joe's arm is getting tired, so call now!

In other news...

Phone: Happy Monday. *ring*

Me: You know what would be great? If you were a toaster oven.

Phone: Man, don't I wish. Quiet life, nice and warm, the constant smell of cinammon buns or whatever...mmm...*ring*

Me: Man. Now I'm hungry.

Phone: Lunch is over. Didn't you eat enough? *ring*

Me: I thought I did...

Phone: Interesting. Look, you gonna answer me or what? *ring*

Me: I was hoping somebody else would get it.

Phone: Well, they're not. *ring*

Me: Fuckin' Monday...

FuckCake O' the Day: Hi, I'm FCO'tD from Blah Blah Company. Your fax machine is broken.

Me: It is? But we've been getting faxes all day.

FCO'tD: I don't think you have. I've been trying to fax you something for two days and all I get when I call is a recording and hold music.

Me: Huh. Let me check...no, we're getting a fax right now. (AIFG!)

FCO'tD: No, you're not. I get a recording. And muzac.

Me: No, seriously, we're getting a fax right this second.

FCO'tD: Whatever. I can't get through.

Me: Are you dialing (area code)-(number)?

FCO'tD: Yes! Duh! Here, I'll fax right now. Hang on.

Me: ...okay...

FCO'tD: (dialing of fax machine sound effects) (hum of paper feeding through fax machine) Nope. I'm getting the same recording.

Me: I don't know what to tell you. I've got a stack of faxes from other people that came in just a few minutes ago right here...

FCO'tD: Whatever! I just called to let you know. Maybe if somebody else calls, you'll believe them! *click*

Me: And happy fucking Monday to you, too.

Phone: God, she was a bitch. *dial tone*

Me: You know what would be great? If you were a toaster oven.

Talkie Toaster!

I'm confused. Were you actually receiving the faxes from FCo'tD?

Were you actually receiving the faxes from FCo'tD?

No. But FCO'tD's contentions that our fax machine was "broken" or otherwise unavailable was proven incontrovertibly wrong by the faxes I continued to receive by people who evidently knew how to run a fax machine.

I think she was incapable of using the damn thing, though I have no idea what, in particular, she was doing to fuck up.

I wonder if her fax machine is not connected. I sent two faxes from a non-networked machine when I first transferred to this new office before I bothered to actually look at the fax receipts and see that I was getting an error message. It made all the right noises but never actually went anywhere. Of course if she wasn't such a bitch about it maybe you could have helped her figure that out.

What a bitch, MM.

It's 41 here, supposed to be 47 for a high. And because I am crazy I'm planning to drag my still-kinda-sick self to the ballpark this afternoon, because it's only kinda cold, and they'll close the roof if it rains.

For the rest of the week it's supposed to be in the 50's. You know you've acclimated to the Northwest when you can tell the difference between the upper 40's and the low 50's and the latter feels downright balmy, especialy if it's sunny.

I wonder if her fax machine is not connected.

I don't know. I mean, it's connected to some phone line if she's getting a recording and muzak, but...

...oh, hell, I don't care. I'm going to assume its an I D 10 T error and move on.