I still don't know what it is, but now I'm a-skeert to find out.

Ha! I clicked on the second link first, and avoided ita's evil yet inevitable trap.

This doesn't so much get me my motivation back as give me a little feeble glow of triumph. I shall add tinder and blow on it a whole lot in the hopes of lighting a fire with it....

I think the piner is Liese.

Hee. Oh, those halcyon days of pining. Sweet Andy, for whom I created computer generated cards with Print Shop which read, "Te adoro, Antonio" even though your name was Anthony, and probably it wasn't all that anonymous a way to send love notes since I was the only one geeky enough to do something like that. If only I had been willing to pretend that I needed your help in fluid power automation class instead of brushing you off, who knows what might have happened?

eta: He looked a little bit like Jordan Catalano, too, now that I think about it.

Heal fast, Emaryn!

The goo is unpleasant, but ultrasounds are painless, although I wouldn't recommend the breast biopsy one, in which they look at an ultrasound screen to guide the placement of a giant needle. The breast was very numb at the time, though. The cool part of ultrasounds is that you can usually see the screen.

The cool part of ultrasounds is that you can usually see the screen.

Unless they won't let you--like those bastards at NY Methodist!

Bastards, indeed. If you can't be amused by watching blurred pictures of your insides, the whole process becomes a pit of sticky boredom.

If you can't be amused by watching blurred pictures of your insides, the whole process becomes a pit of sticky boredom.

Especially when you have some freakish alien life form growing inside you.

Yeah, when you have a freakish alien life form growing inside you, you need all the distraction you can get.

Now I'm envisioning a movie scene in which the patient is watching the ultrasound screen as the alien life form comes alive and eats the ultrasound technician.

Especially when you have some freakish alien life form growing inside you.

Well, of a sort. But that was my point, their argument was that legally I couldn't see it and that a doctor had to interpret the results for me. Um, somehow I don't think that you give that spiel to pregnant women.

Vegan Strippers

TWO things that you can find a lot of in Portland, Ore., are vegans and strip clubs. Johnny Diablo decided to open a business to combine both. At his Casa Diablo Gentlemen’s Club, soy protein replaces beef in the tacos and chimichangas; the dancers wear pleather, not leather. Many are vegans or vegetarians themselves.

But Portland is also home to a lot of young feminists, and some are not happy with Mr. Diablo’s venture. Since he opened the strip club last month, their complaints have been “all over the Internet,” he said. “One of them came in here once. I could tell she had an attitude right when she came in. She was all hostile.”

Mr. Diablo isn’t concerned with the “feminazis,” as he calls them. As a vegan himself, he says he hasn’t worn or eaten animal products in 24 years and is worried about cruelty to animals. “My sole purpose in this universe is to save every possible creature from pain and suffering,” he said.

OK, Mr. Diablo loses all his bonus points for use of the word "feminazis."