I do hope that the internal squishy stress spooge isn't toxic or I might develop superpowers and have to assemble my own fantastic four team, and I think we all know that I'm not terribly invested in fighting crime.
"What do we call ourselves? 'The Fantastic Four' is already taken."
"How about the Justice Quartet?"
"Or the Heroic Quad Squad?"
"How about the Laconic Four and we just not bother? And you all shut up."
"'Laconic Four?' That lacks both alliteration and/or rhyming."
"You're fired. Now we're the 'Through With The Whole Thing Three.'
Or the 'Tried To Care But Didn't Trio.'"
Oooh! Which one do I get to be?
What do you want? Human torch? Invisibility? Smashing really big things?
I gave my editor your number, did he call?
makes me want to punch her in the face all the more. You exploited people, asshole.
I am with you. I've been raging this all day. A new definition of identity theft. And it makes all writers cringe.
Memoir = Things that Happened To You (the real you, not your idealized, stolen identity)
Nonfiction = careful study of things that happened to a real person (not you), with factual backup (that you didn't make up)
Fiction = Things that did not happen
easy enough, right?
What do you want? Human torch? Invisibility? Smashing really big things?
All of the above!
Edit: Does that make me The Invisible Human Torch Thing?
The editor, though. THREE FUCKING YEARS and you never verified any piece of this woman's story? THREE YEARS?
Particularly since authors lying about their horrific pasts have even made L&O storylines. If you can't be arsed to read the news, editor, can't you at least keep up with pop culture and learn to be suspicious?
Thinking about it, I sent a detailed contact list, one of my blurbs was written by one of my subjects, and I supplied links to actual conversations that took place along with a list of permissions granted by people I wrote about.
I wonder what sort of documentation Asshole provided.
I realize I am being all me me me.
How annoying.
I'm just busy trying to construct a horrific past for myself so I can get published.
