It seems the tummy problems are contagious through the intertubes. I've had some mild problems the last few days but it got worse so I called in sick, which if what I have is contagious my coworkers will probably thank me.

No tummy problems over here - please.

Instead, I seem to be dinging myself up. I have bandaids on two fingers so far this morning. I am not a bandaid person, so this feels weird.

Come to work today. Boss is not here.

Go into HR for talk.

Big Boss IS mad that I've been out sick. I point out that this is unreasonable. HR person agrees. I point out that I need to be reassigned.

"Well, nobody is going to be happy with your attendance... you always have a good reason for being late, but you're late a lot"

"No I'm not"

"Well, Big Boss says you are"

"Well, I think we've established that Big Boss has unreasonable expectations. Have you checked the actual time sheets or are you taking her word for it?"

I was practically crying. "Look, I can't spend two days at home sick worried that my boss is mad. I need to be reassigned."

This is now my mantra "I need to be reassigned"

Then I get to hear about how big boss is rough on everybody. I point out how she's rough on me daily. This goes back and forth for a while. I tell HR person that I need to work half a day and go home (if we work half a day we can make up the time and don't need to use a sick day.) HR person tells me to send an email about the half day.

I send around the following to HR, Big Boss, Little Boss, Other Assistant:

I'm still very ill. I'm here but am going to do my best to leave by 1:30.

Thanks for your patience in the craziness,

TB

Big Boss replies (remotely, as she is out):

If you are very ill, then you should just go home now. N

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I went and told HR chick that since I dragged myself into the office I'm not interested in using up one of my sick days. This is insane.

Asked HR chick if I need to start sending out my resume. She says "no". I'm thinking "yes".

It really can't be my problem that they can't deal with her. (which is their mantra -- "she's my boss too, I can't tell her no") Really? Then she's going continue to have a new secretary every 18 months or so and I don't think ANYBODY likes that.

It is entirely possible, btw, that in the upcoming shuffle that I will just be reassigned but that HR won't commit to that -- they are notoriously secretive about these things.

I pointed out the merits of reassigning: I keep my job, you keep a good secretary, boss gets her next secretary trained.

Man, I cannot deal with this -- particulary when sick as hell.

{{{Trudy}}}

I'm sorry you're stuck working with an asshat.

Big boss is an ass.

I know it's tough when staff people are out. Hell, I'm usually the one who has to deal with rescheduling everything when it happens, but dude! not their fault.

I found out today that one of my coworkers was in a terrible car wreck on Monday. She's staying with her daughter since she has a skull fracture and one of her eyes has been...relocated.

I know her being out will piss little boss off, but you know, what is she going to do even if she's here? She can't see shit. Her head injury makes her nauseous if she so much as stands up.

It's like, we're not going through all this just to tick you off!

Trudy - that sucks and I hope that HR does the sensible thing and reassigns you.

I loved the "then just go home". Fuck off, Big Boss. Bug someone else with your tantrum. You'd have been happy for me to be sick yesterday when you were here.

Trudy - that sucks and I hope that HR does the sensible thing and reassigns you.

I really think that is the likely outcome -- they DON'T want to lose someone good they've trained. But I'm still sending around the resume.

{{{Trudy}}} Re-assignment~ma. Your boss is being unreasonable and hopefully HR will find a way to deal with her.

Phone: *Ring*

Me: You know it's Friday, right?

Phone: *Just...'Ring', okay?*

Me: Damn you to the deepest of hells.

Fuckcake O' the Day: Hey, Joe...it's JOE! Ha ha!

Me: How can I help you?

FCOtD: Wondering if you had an answer yet.

Me: To...?

FCOtD: We talked the other day.

Me: I received a great many calls a day. I'm sorry, I'm afraid I don't recall yours.

FCOtD: But how many calls share your name?

Me: ...

FCOtD: (expectant pause for laughter and recognition)

Me: ...

FCOtD: Um. I think I ended up talking to (Other Person)

Me: I'll see if they're available.