My version of MM’s fuckcake o’ the day, from a month or two ago. (For background, I work for a trade association and evil!boss put me in charge of fulfillment for orders for reprints of our journal.)

Phone: *ring* Me: This is (my name). How may I help you? FCOD: Hi! I’m with (member company) and I want to order a reprint. Me: OK, which article? FCOD: It’s one from your August-September issue. Me: We don’t have an August-September issue; we have a July-August issue and a September issue. Which one are you interested in. FCOD: The August-September issue. It’s an article by someone from (member company). Me: We don’t have an August-September issue, just July-August and September. What’s the author name? FCOD: It’s someone who works for (member company). Me: Well, do you have the title? or what it’s about? FCOD: No. It’s by someone from (member company). Me: Well, I’ll have to check the author bios at the end of each story. Hold on a minute while I pull copies of those issues and check. (Pause while I walk to the other end of the office to pull copies of the possible months, plus ones from just before and after.) Me: OK, I’m back. Let me look through and see which article has an author from (member company). FCOD: (assorted natter about how long it’s taking and why can’t I just pull the article) Me: (leafing through the various articles) Well, I’m having to go through each issue and check each author bio – it’s going to take a little time. FCOD: It’s about a project at a (university). Me: Aha! well, that’s our education issue, September. Let me check. (looks through that issue) Yes, it’s this article (read title to them). FCOD: Yes, that’s it. I need it right away. Send it to (NOT member company). Me: (getting fed up) Well, I’m sorry, but since you don’t work for (member company) I can’t give you the member rate. FCOD: I don’t know why you’re getting nasty with me! I’m trying to place an order. Me: I’ll send you one of our order forms; please fill it out and return it and I’ll send you the article. Turned out FCOD worked for a PR firm that did work for (member company). They had someone at the member company do the order and got the member rate.

What I didn’t say: chickie, you called me asking for an article. You didn’t know the issue, title, or author’s name. You purported to not even know the subject until I’d schlepped down to the other end of the office, pulled copies of the issues, and gone through one entire 60-page issue and part of another before you told me what it was about. And then you demand the member rate when you aren’t a member. Be glad that mildly nasty was all you got from me.

I’m still cranky about this one.

Turned out FCOD worked for a PR firm that did work for (member company).

::facepalm:: Our people would be shot if they did something that blunderheaded, especially if the client found out about it.

We're, um, encouraged to go the extra mile for members. Non-members, largely, depends on how they ask and how much time we have. This ... argh! however, in compensation, they got confused and bought the reprints twice. ha!

My office is full of random plastic pieces and transformer blocks that I don't know what they go to. Keep or toss?

Toss, Ginger.

I'm in the midst of a masochistic effort to reorganize my office. The result so far is to spread the mess to all the other rooms in the house. Also, there were night of the lepus dust bunnies behind some of the things I moved.

Ginger, I've taken to calling those dust mastodons.

You didn’t know the issue, title, or author’s name.

Hey! Todd is stealing my work life!

Also, there were night of the lepus dust bunnies behind some of the things I moved.

Watch out! I've found some in my place that had gone feral!

I have such a whacked mind. Most of my co-workers are in a meeting with a higher-up who's in the office this week. I keep going back and forth between, "WTF? Am I so unimportant that I'm not needed in this meeting???" and, "Yay! While the co-workers are away, the 'cookie will play!"