Fay, reassure me that I wouldn't be all sore-thumb-y if hanging around in Cairo with an art-teacher coworker? There's lots of foreign dames not speaking Arabic, yes? I guess I'm feeling very unadventurous and timid. Don't know why.

No worries! I mean, yes, you will get stared at, but that's okay - all the men will be thinking "OMG Look at the gorgeous sexy white chick! Maybe she will have sex with me, if I pray really hard and eat my greens? Oh, please God!" It's a bit like being turned into Angelina Jolie or Catherine Zeta Jones overnight - you automatically get an extra 100 points of hotness when you step off a 'plane - one can step out of the house having a resolutely spotty bad hair day, and still get all the admiring glances one can cope with. And Cairo is fab! I mean, noisy and crazy and busy, but, you know, it's like you've got in the Tardis and stepped out into another world. Or, at times, like you've gone back several thousand years.

I can arm you with a couple of useful Arabic phrases that will really oil the wheels of interaction with people (honestly, they're generally SO chuffed that people are having a go, and it makes a world of difference in the attitude of taxi drivers etc etc to see that you're at least trying to be polite), and then Bob's your relative!

Also, of course, I can tell you lots of awesome places to visit, and if you're at all tempted, I would totally recommend you hook up with my friend Neveen, who is made of awesome. She's a muslim New Yorker of Egyptian extraction, and she is one of my very favourite people. We were both teaching at the same school for a year, and she's still there now. It would be fabulous if you guys could get together! For she is fluent at the Arabic and knows all the places and is just super fantastic and lovely. She used to work as a journalist in Washington, and thus has anecdotes that start "The first time I was in the Oval Office..." which is always a bit startling. And she's been to Iraq, and had all manner of adventures, and did I mention the bit about the lovely? Really, she's lovely. I'm sure she'd love to meet up with you folks.

Why are we whitefonting sex toys? This is bitches!

upthread P-C said something about not saying that word. I assumed he meant butt plug but maybe he meant Disney

See, this is why I love you people.

Did I mention how it's illegal to bring vibrators to Thailand?

???!!!???

I keep meaning to go and buy one of those little rubber duck things, or something similarly deceptive (a chili pepper would be particularly apropos), but thus far haven't managed to do so. Sigh. It would probably even make it through the mail, if I ordered something, actually, provided it was sufficiently unlikely-looking and one could call it a toy or whatever the hell to fool the customs. But I don't have a credit card, and this is my easy way out of ordering anything so embarrassing. Sigh. One of these days.

Meanwhile, in things that make you go !!!!!!!!, my headmistress is presently looking through CVs for prospective staff for next year. One bloke started his letter with "I should tell you up front that I was deported from Thailand 2 years ago for pedophilia. But nothing was ever proven, and now I am legally allowed to return because I am innocent, and besides I never made any money from it."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I never made any money from not molesting those children. Honestly." I mean - wtf?

Needless to say, that's one for the NO pile.

I've been at work for almost an hour now and there has been a car alarm going off outside the entire time. Surely I get a pass if I go out and smash the car, right?

eta: And I also vote NO for pedophilia when hiring teachers. Putting aside the pedophilia and the no money thing, WTF? Who writes a letter like that?

Did I mention how it's illegal to bring vibrators to Thailand?

Apparently, here on St. Thomas, it's illegal to have sex with your wife on Sunday. I wanted to ask if you could have sex with other people, but I'm not sure Edie would have found that funny.

Fay, that's just nuts! Definitely the NO pile!

here on St. Thomas, it's illegal to have sex with your wife on Sunday.

That's taking blue laws to a whole new level. I assume it's because you'd be doing "work" but it seems just the opposite to me. God said Sunday was a day of rest/relaxation, right?

This makes me wonder if Jewish people who are very observant of the Sabbath are also prohibited from having sex with a spouse on that day.

Stephanie! Only one more day of work after today!

And yes. You're pregnant. You'll totally get away with smashing the car.

God said Sunday was a day of rest/relaxation, right?

Perzactly.

It's beeping again!! It stops for like 5 minutes and then starts up again.

ION, it's a good thing I only have one more day of work. I went to bed last night at 7:30.

Stephanie, you totally get a pass. Car alarms are irritating.

That cone vibrator thing just looks odd. I have the urge to smuggle Fay a vibrator.

vw, that is a pretty funny law. Is the island very religious and of the only think of God on Sunday thinking?

I went to bed last night at 7:30.

Awwww! Poor you! They're working you too hard.

Is the island very religious and of the only think of God on Sunday thinking?

The West Indian people are fairly religious, from my understanding.

I finally decided I'd had enough and went outside to find the beeping car. There was a dude sitting in a car and I was thinking surely it's not his because what asshole would just sit in a beeping car for an hour? I walked over to check and my coworker sort of yelled at him - yeah, it was his car. NO idea why he was letting it beep but it's stopped now.