{{{GC, GF, and family}}} What an awful choice. I'm so sorry for everyone involved.

sj, I feel you. I am still not sure what the difference between senile dementia and Alzheimer's is, but my grandma developed it, and it was awful to see what it did to her. It was what she didn't want to happen, and it tore my dad up to watch it. Now that he's getting older, it is his, and now my, worst fear. It's horrible.

From what I have read. Alzheimer's is one of possibly many causes of dementia, which is the larger category. You really can't tell for sure if someone had Alzheimer's unless you do an autopsy, so a diagnosis is really just a guess on the part of the doctor that he/she thinks best explains the symptoms. Of course I could be totally wrong about all of that.

My step-grandmother had Alzheimer's, and it was just so awful. It remains a big fear of my mother's and my stepfather's as a result. I can tell they think about it everytime they forget where their keys are, etc.

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Of course, my uncle who saw her last week told me she was doing really well. It never fails to amaze me just how much in denial my father's side of the family can be.

It really could be you saw a particularly bad day. If he sees one of those for every ten good ones "doing really well" could be reasonable

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It really could be you saw a particularly bad day. If he sees one of those for every ten good ones "doing really well" could be reasonable

I kind of doubt it. She didn't remember that she had ever met TCG (which she has on at least 3 occasions), she couldn't remember that she had sent us a Christmas gift, etc. My father's family is very good at denying things they can't handle, for example the fact that my dad or my grandmother ever existed so that they don't have to deal with their deaths.

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Lots of hugs and ~ma for sj's aunt and for GC's gf and her family.

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My great-grandmother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in her 90s, after years of the doctors saying, essentially, she's just old, forgetting stuff is natural. What the difference was, I don't know.

I was lucky. She rarely recognized me as such, but she always thought I was someone she knew and was happy to see me.

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There are just no good options.

There just aren't. I am so sorry, GC. For you and GF and your entire families. It's such a terrible thing to have to try and live though. I can't imagine how terrifying it must be for him.

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{{GC, GF and family}}

sj, I have a friend whose father has dementia. She and her husband are now living with her father. It has been really, really hard. (She deals with her father with a sense of humor). Her definition of a good day, is very different than mine would be - because she sees him every day. J has been married to W for 45+ years - her dad doesn't always recognize W. I think it was hardest on everybody when J's dad knew he was losing it, but couldn't really completely understand what was happening. any way, sending ou lots of love, talk to other people and when I remember the title of the book J read that really helped - I email it to you.

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{{{GC, GF, and family}}}

{{{sj}}} We went through watching the horrible advance of dementia with my maternal grandmother. Such a heart-rending place to be.

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CHOIR REHEARSAL: A MORAL TALE IN ONE ACT

As our scene opens, SUSAN, an alto, is rehearsing "Down to the River to Pray" with the rest of her choir. The arrangement has two solos.

SUSAN (internal monologue/voiceover): I'd SO love to sing one of the solos. The altos don't ever get the melody, and it's just so gorgeous. Plus, this is Appalachian music, roots music, Southern gospel, and I'm the only one in this whole choir who actually grew up on this stuff. I know how to put just the right twist and twang on it. I'm Baptist. From Appalachia. This music is in my BLOOD. I want the solo. I can ROCK the solo. Sure it's a little high, if I could pick a key I'd want it about two keys lower, but it tops out at a B. I can hit a B easy.

GARY (the choir director): Well, we still haven't rehearsed the solos. Is anyone interested?

SUSAN: It may be too high for me, but I'd like to try it. Music of my childhood, you know.

GARY: Sure, go for it.

SUSAN: t remembers she hasn't sung a solo in 19 years t realizes everyone in the congregation will be thinking of Alison Krauss t gets stage fright

The music starts. Gary cues Susan

SUSAN (squeakily and not at all Alison Kraussily, but in tune enough to not get booted): "As I went down to the river to pray..."

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OMGWTF was I thinking!? There will be at least 200 people in each service on Sunday! I can't do this!

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Do it Susan.

You won't get unnervous by not doing it.

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