Happy New Year to everyone! I am off soon for my "country home." (Okay, my friend's home.)

I have had the endorphin high, but only after hours of hiking at a fairly brisk pace. But I am always inevitably in the endorphin high place when I am also in the so tired that you can twist your ankle by tripping on a blade of grass place. So it sort of balances out.

The first few weeks I go off sugar I'll have anxiety dreams that I'm drinking kool-ade and can't stop and am fucking up my diet.

After that I still want it (and all its simple carby friends) but not nearly as much as I want them when they are part of my diet.

I love my MMA classes and will crave them and will get cranky when I miss them, but a really hard workout doesn't give me a rush so much as relax every muscle in my body and leave me completely limp. Which I really really love.

Where's bon? FotC are on Terri Gross right now! And yes, IFG!

Ha! I assume that's a rerun, because I totally bought that from iTunes. The story about the threesome makes me laugh and laugh.

The performer was mud ugly and all the hookers by the door were glaring at us.

yeah, they don't like it when the patrons are prettier than they are.

I have actually experienced the mythic endorphin rush. But it's a rare thing.

I had it one time. I got to the end of my route, and didn't want to stop, so I made another loop. It was nice.

The first few weeks I go off sugar I'll have anxiety dreams that I'm drinking kool-ade and can't stop and am fucking up my diet.

Oh god. I thought this was just me. Shortly after the pizza thing, I started having dreams where I would eat something, by mistake, and then remember I was on a diet and freak out. It was like, "I can't even cheat in my DREAMS."

you crazy people with your different things work for different people stuff.

I am starting on a smaller portions of everything except veggies habit and will also start exercising (haven't dedicated time to that in a good 4 years) in about a week. I hoping for some weight and size loss, but mostly for feeling better.

I will have very elaborate dreams about food when I get hungry when I'm asleep. Sadly, I cannot eat when I first wake up. I'll also have mega-frustrating dreams in which my attempts to get up, showered and dressed are all kinds of thwarted right before I wake up.

No wonder I hate waking up. Everything in my head is gearing me up for frustration.

Oh god. I thought this was just me. Shortly after the pizza thing, I started having dreams where I would eat something, by mistake, and then remember I was on a diet and freak out. It was like, "I can't even cheat in my DREAMS."

Sister!

I don't even like kool-ade IRL.

There is a pizza place in my neighborhood with whole wheat crusts and small slices. When I'm in bad shape I'll have a piece along with some other protien things so I don't get that icky blood sugar spike. It usually does the trick. I think the whole pizzaria aspect helps with the knock out of the craving.

If people are killing me at work with pizza I'll tell myself I can have the whole wheat if I'm still suffering when I get home, but I usually forget by then. Between that and the Guylian sugar free 70% cocoa chocolate I whip out when other people are having really nice deserts its pretty managable to stay on track.

(Can you tell I'm giving myself a pep talk? Good Girl starts again January 2nd and is hardcore until Valentine's Day.)

Oh, my god. I can't breathe, my body hates me, and I'm edging back to Wanting To Die land. Instead of going to the DMV, I think I'll go directly home and crawl back into bed.

Instead of going to the DMV, I think I'll go directly home and crawl back into bed.

Oh, dear. You were doing so well.

Both coworkers in my immediate area have some kind of death-virus thing. One went home sick, the other is fairly sure she's not contagious. But between this and the husband having a cold, it's going to be a miracle if I don't get sick too.