I just had an argument with a door-to-door Fios salesman. Is that crazy?

Dude comes to my door, starts talking about the city installing fiber optics, and at first I thought it was going to be a "How badly did we annoy you?" survey, till he starts trying to sell me Verizon Fios. And I said no, and he kept talking. I said no a couple more times, and he kept coming back with more sales talk, like this was a debate and just one more fact would convince me.

I actually had to do the "Okay, stop. No, stop. You. Stop. I'm closing my door now." thing. It was very -- dude. Being on-message does not include turning into a terrier.

People with more patience than I might get a free TV or $200 gift cert to Best Buy. People with less patience than me might want to answer the doorbell with a bucher knife in hand.

Susan - if you are looking for people more kid-like for the wrapping paper you might consider Evan Ellingson or Sterling Knight.

They are actually kids so are probably closer to the age of young recruits (I think.)

I left you a message so a Buffista would know. I'm totally not thoughtful enough to inform a large group of people. I kinda forget. Don't sweat it. This will probably be another boring and pointless admit.

Ooooooooh.

I thought you were calling in the cavalry for a beat down.

Plus, you sounded pretty scary.

I'm still bringing you a patty, and either jerk pork or smothered (which would you prefer?) and some plantains.

Because seriously, home food? Always cheery.

Actually, the gift is wrapped and ready to go. I'd meant to use the Terence Stamp image, but once I printed it out it didn't look as right as it had on the screen for some reason, and it didn't blend well with the other images. Which is weird, because I had no problem at all merrily blending Christopher Eccleston as the Doctor and Nathan Fillion as Mal and so on with portraits of real people from the period, but the Terence Stamp picture just didn't match somehow. So I used, um, the first person Plei linked to, whose name I've forgotten.

It turned out surprisingly well, IMHO. I'll have to take pictures if I can.

It was originally intended to be a children's story, wasn't it?

Well, in the same sense that the original Little Mermaid story was, I suppose -- you know, the one where every step she takes with feet feels like walking on knives, and the prince doesn't marry her and she turns into... sea foam, I think? And that's a happy ending.

I am glad ita has wifi and an Allyson.

Unrelatedly, I want to go home, climb into bed, and wish the world out of existence.

healing-ma to ita. And a cluestick to the doctors.

I sent an e-mail poke to Playboy, and now I have a response sitting in my inbox. I don't want to open it because I am dealing with enough emo cranky "wow, I suck" this week.

Open the e-mail, honey. Otherwise it will just taunt you with its unreadness.

If they offer you a job, we do a dance.

If they say thanks but no thanks, we make more porn jokes at their expense.

If they haven't made a decision yet, then at least you know what's what.