NO YOU MUST HAVE AN IMPALING!

Eh, I don't care enough about this to pay 2 separate shipping fees. So it's ninja/unicorn or flair/doorbell - I can't mix them.

Oh, I forgot which things went together by the time I started typing. But it looks like all's well that ends well!

Okay, it's time once again for my office's annual white elephant gift swap. The rules are everyone brings in a wrapped gift (under $20) and draws straws for the order in which you select gifts. You can either take a gift from the table (mystery!) or steal someone else's already unwrapped gift (score!). You can only steal the same gift 3 times.

In our version of this at work, if you do get it or steal it 3 times, you get to keep it because you worked for it. IOW no on can take it from you if you manage to get it that many times. You also can only steal twice a turn - on the 3rd go you have to got to the table or keep what you got swapped to. And whoever picked first gets to do a final swap with anyone who hasn't gotten theirs for good. This leads to even MORE madcap Machiavellian machinations.

Office White elephant

If it doesn't have to be new, I always try to find something in my house already.

I just learned that there are "games" of some sort at our office party. I have not been the other 2 years I have been working here. I am not amused at this prospect.

We're having a potluck and gift swap this year. Last year, we went out. My minion, who wasn't even here last year, is all, "Are we in financial trouble??" and, "I can't believe this party is going to cost me money!" Also, you're supposed to bring something that represents your culture, so she said she's going to bring white bread, which was funny.

Also, you're supposed to bring something that represents your culture, so she said she's going to bring white bread, which was funny.

Tell her to take muffins, whitey!

The white bread thing is funny! We are having, as usual a secret part wherein we can't know where we are going until a week before we go-- which is sort of dumb, because what is the real difference between knowing a week in advance and knowing enough in advance to make plans. Last year we went to NYC. I think we are sticking around here this year, though, because the party is from 7 pm to whenever.

I feel like a grinch because I can't go-- I have costume fittings on the same day, and with no car I can't go late. And I am certainly not renting a car when I don't know where I'll be going!

We're having a potluck and gift swap this year. Last year, we went out. My minion, who wasn't even here last year, is all, "Are we in financial trouble??" and, "I can't believe this party is going to cost me money!"

My old office goes out for lunch, then has a dessert potluck and "yankee" gift swap. It takes the whole afternoon. Which reminds me, I've been invited this year. So do I fess up to my new boss that I need to take the afternoon to go to a party, or do I just "schedule a meeting" with my old boss?

Oh god, have to come up with a plausible way to miss the party again this year.

We were just talking about the white elephant thing last night. Funny.

Not funny: apparently some guy with a bomb strapped to his chest is holding hostages at Hillary Clinton's NH campaign office.