Part of my difficulty with Santa before I lost my faith was that we had no fireplace, so if Santa came down the chimney he'd end up in the furnace. So my parents told us he'd find some other way in. So then I was thinking about that - maybe Santa could make himself (and his bag of presents) real super skinny so he could slip between the cracks in the doors. But then that was almost too much magic to believe in.

Did anyone else watch the Hogswatch movie?

Family lore goes that I told my older sister that there was no Santa and she was 'a stupid' for believing in him on Christmas morning when I was six. I don't remember it, though.

Happy birthday Emeline!

Happy Birthday Emeline.

But he kind of killed me when he said, "It was just nice believing that there was somebody as good as Santa in the world. It was just nice to believe that."

Tell him there is: Him.

Or Superman.

What? Superman is real dammit!

But he kind of killed me when he said, "It was just nice believing that there was somebody as good as Santa in the world. It was just nice to believe that."

"Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. ... Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

"You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding."

Happy birthday, pretty Emeline!

Emmett's okay this morning. We talked about it a lot last night. JZ explained that there really was a St. Nicklas who did good deeds and Emmett decided that it was a good way to show respect to St. Nick and the idea of giving. That's what I came back around to, just that Santa Claus is the idea of Christmas.

And we talked about why parents do it, and he got it when he thought about Matilda getting excited for Santa and presents. And I think he's looking forward to making Christmas fun for her.

That's a great transition for him, Hec. I'm glad he's ok with it.

Christmas is still pretty fun without the thought of a REAL Santa. Owen still doesn't "get" Santa--but he's been clinging to toy ads and saying, "We should go get THIS one" when he sees something he wants.

I finally got the ball rolling up here for his continuation of speech therapy. I can't wait to get that started again.

Note to self: Get new home phone number on the Do Not Call List, STAT.

Lots of recovery ~ma going out for your grandfather, Jess.