WindSparrow, all good ideas, but I'd rather she had needed money to pay rent and put food on the table and such.

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Perhaps it would help her feel less suspicious if you got her a number of different kinds of gift certificates - say several for some her favorite restaurants, a gift card to Target, a gift card to a gas station, a spa day, a grocery store, or cab/bus fare, etc. - spread it around, make it more difficult to track just how much it is. If she is not the type to be shy about returning items, go and buy some pricey items that are totally inappropriate for her, and be sure to include the gift receipts for easy returns (she will have less idea of how much you spent until she gets to the store to return them, and by then you can be long gone).

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WindSparrow, all good ideas, but I'd rather she had needed money to pay rent and put food on the table and such.

One of the reasons I suggested Target (and of course, KMart, Walmart, and heck, even places like Walgreens), is that... well... there have been times in my life when a twenty-dollar gift card meant I didn't have to choose between having deodorant and shampoo or food and fuel that month. I don't think I admitted to my benefactors that I was using those cards for unromantic necessities, fibbing a bit on thank you notes.

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My Hungarian Thanksgiving dinner. [link] [link] [link]

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If you send her a giftcard - she can use it to buy gifts. Buta giftcertificate to the local "luxury" grocery store ( if there is one ) would be good too.

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WindSparrow, you are wise.

So? Do I mention the overage first?

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Home sweet home!

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My Hungarian Thanksgiving dinner.

Yummers. That cheese platter looks like it might have been the most fun part of the meal.

So? Do I mention the overage first?

I would. How about something like, "Mom, I'm sorry, but when I gave you the numbers for the trip, I must have mis-spoke. You've sent me more than your fair share, and so I'm going to send you $$ back." She can either accept this or tell you not to worry about it. Maybe you can counter with something goopy like, "Aw, Mom, I've always wanted to be able to foot the whole bill on trips like that for both of us. I'm not quite there yet, but now that things are getting better for me, at the very least I can pay my own way, please let me do this." If she is still resisting at this point, then you accept what she says, and fall back on the gift cards plan.

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Welcome home, vw.

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Said to mom, "Please go away so I can love you again."

I am overpeopled.

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