Mal ,'Out Of Gas'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Sorry to be such a downer during the holidays.
Dude, I'm with you on that crappy feeling of being the one who can't come home for Thanksgiving. I haven't been home for T-Day in at least 4 years, probably more. And this year, all of my six siblings and three siblings-in-law gathered at my parents house yesterday...
Yeah, the thing is, I don't really WANT to go home.
I was much happier with the Thanksgiving with friends yesterday. That's the thing that makes me feel like I totally suck.
being the one who can't come home for Thanksgiving. I haven't been home for T-Day in at least 4 years, probably more.11 years+
Haven't been home for Thanksgiving since freshman year of college, so...11 years?
In undergrad it was fairly easy to get home, as home was only 100-ish miles away. In grad school it got harder, but I made it home most years, despite the 700+ mile drive home from MO. Then came A Christmas Carol in Kansas City. And then Into The Woods in Palo Alto, and now, my second year of ACC here in SoCal. Such is a life in the arts: we work while everyone else is playing.
I prefer not going home to see my family at Thanksgiving, it's part of the reason I took this design. I'm just tired of the guilt trip calls and feeling like I'm letting them down.
When I go home for holidays I'm miserable, but when I don't go I get the guilt trip and feeling useless because I'm supposed to want to see my family. I just feel like there is something wrong with me for not really having a desire to spend time with them.
Stop beating yourself up about it, ND. You don't suck. It sucks that spending time with your family is crazy making and painful. But that suck isn't your fault. Those that care about you, and that would include me, would much rather see you having a fun Thanksgiving with loved ones in the few moments you have free.
Thanksgiving would probably be a lot easier to handle with my family than Christmas, but given the pain of travelling around then, and the fact that it's normal to spend Thanksgiving with friends or strangers, and Christmas NSM....well, the one time a year I go home is always Christmas.
As you grow older, away from childhood, family is thems that welcome you and show warmth, love, and compassion. If rearing goes well, it will include the same folks as you spent your childhood with. But, if there is asshatery, then they reap what they sow. If they don't like the fact you don't want to spend time with them, it seems they are displacing their guilt for not treating you with love on to you. It's not your fault. As my pappy so delicately says, "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke".