We missed breakfast this morning. I thought it ended at 11 not 10. We did manage to get tea and coffee though, so the gronk is starting to lift.

Ok. Both of my tutees for today confirmed their appointments. Wanna make bets on if both of them actually show?

I just had a meltdown at work.

(Dad went in the hospital yesterday for an angioplasty to open a blockage and place a stent, which went great, but then he called me this morning and said that he had pain overnight for 2 hours that felt like a heart attack. They ran EKGs, blood tests, even a CT scan, and all the tests showed that he did NOT have a heart attack. This morning, his cardiologist looked at the tests, said the same thing, no heart attack, you can go home. She said the pain was likely from the stent expanding to its full width.

Then Dad called me back an hour later, and said that his cardiologist wants him to stay until this afternoon, so they can run another set of tests. When she saw him this morning, she *hadn't* looked at a second set of blood tests they ran at 6 a.m., and she said that the 6 a.m. results "looked different"* from the overnight results, which could mean heart attack.

*"Looked different" is my dad's quote, and, I'm 99% sure, not the cardiologist's actual diagnosis.)

Anyway. After talked to Dad the second time, I hung up and thought, "Okay, he's fine, if he did have/is having a heart attack, he's in the best possible place." And despite that, all I could think after THAT was, "I can't take this. I just can't take this."

And so I had a wee (big) meltdown and went in the bathroom and cried until I felt calmer. And when I came back to my desk, all red-eyed and puffy, nobody asked me if I was okay. Nobody. Four of us share one phone, so I know they heard me on the phone. Plus they all know my dad's cardiac roller-coaster history.

Nobody said *anything,* actually. Not one word.

And I feel like a big baby and hugely self-entitled bitch from hell for being annoyed and a little hurt that nobody said anything when I'm obviously upset.

Am I being self-entitled and evil?

{{{Steph}}}

You're not being evil. I would think someone would check on you. I know I would.

Steph, we are both wrong. It's the people at work who suck.

Or they didn't know what to say and were being weird about it.

Or both.

I hope your dad is okay, and that the meltdown helped relieve some of your stress.

Steph, that really sucks. You deserve better from them. And I hope your dad weathers this latest incident smoothly.

Am I being self-entitled and evil?

Hell no. I hope you're dad is okay. I'll smoosh some hugs down the internets for you.

I will say, I would have been one of the people not saying anything, because I assume everyone is like me and doesn't want anyone to acknowledge any kind of emotional expression from me, ever.

Ah Steph, I hope he's okay and that it wasn't a heart attack and I hope the big cry helped. You are not evil and that sucks about the coworkers.

Man, I hope your Dad is okay, Teppy and I cannot believe that your officemates didn't say one thing.

I would have been one of the people not saying anything, because I assume everyone is like me and doesn't want anyone to acknowledge any kind of emotional expression from me, ever.

I might too, because I don't want to feel like I'm interfering. But they should probably know you well enough to know.

I hope your dad's okay.