OK my Hot Pockets are ridiculously overengineered.

After cooking your sandwich, fold and lock the bottom flaps.

Using the sleeve as a holder, begin eating your sandwich.

Peel away the tab as you enjoy the rest of your sandwich.

Next they're going to tell me digest your sandwich.

There's a microwave pizza box that directs you to put any loose toppings on the pizza. I'm trying to imagine someone paralyzed with doubt about what he should do with a piece of pepperoni that fell out of the wrapping.

It's probably the same guy who's always in front of me waiting to turn right on red when the green arrow appears. The light is red, but there's a green arrow. What do I do?!??

I mostly prefer to be left alone when I'm sick, but I like if possible to have eager servants caring people within earshot.

I might prefer to be alone when sick because I look like hell, and yes I am that vain. My last words on my deathbed will likely be a weakly whispered "How's my hair?"

I might prefer to be alone when sick because I look like hell

This definitely has something to do with it for me. Also I feel embarrassed when I'm sick because I hate feeling helpless. Puking is great for my abs, though.

proof that I am bad for The Cubs:

My sister came by yesterday and said, "did you know The Cubs are in first place?"

I said, "The Chicago Cubs?"

So today I went to look up their schedule, see if I could catch a game some time. They've already dropped down to second. The only way for the Cubs to triumph is for me not to pay attention.

We're back from Alameda where Suzi continues to avoid us like the plague.

Emmett's team won again - their third slaughter in a row. Jack and Kye both hit home runs - Kye's was a grand slam. We're kind of getting by on our high powered offense, since we were a little sloppy in the field making errors at second base, and both Emmett and Jack got picked off second.

Emmett hit well (2-3, and he reached on an error on that third one). But he was kind of bummed because he played the whole game in left field. He hurt his thumb last week and aggravated it yesterday. We've only got 10 players for this tournament so coach was being extra careful with him, but Emmett hates it out there.

Can't complain though when your team is blowing other teams completely out of the water. And mind, we're playing other all-star teams. We're just on a roll.

Funny thing was that we were originally scheduled to play the host Alameda team in the early rounds. The whole schedule was rejiggered to put them in a separate pool so they wouldn't play us until the semi-finals (should we both advance). We've played them four times in the last three weeks, and won three of them very handily.

We're back from Alameda where Suzi continues to avoid us like the plague

HEY! I tried to meet up with your lovely wife yesterday and left Starbucks at 5pm. Today was an if. I am covered in paint (my hands are all crampy) and we still have a second coat to go (on the walls and me).

Tomorrow's game is 1pm? Right? I will try.

Someone tell me to put away my credit card. I am SO tempted to buy this for the nephew: [link] It's SUCH a good price.

Put away the credit card, vw. [link]