I would have been mortified if my mother called anyone about my "excessive work load" during undergrad, let alone grad school!

If my parents had done that, it would have been because I was physically unable to do so. Like, had a car accident and on the operating table physically unable.

It's so weird to read about the apparent rise in kids calling home, when I've tried to do it as little as possible ever since I went to college.

I kept in touch fairly regularly in college. Quite a bit by letter because each Tulane dorm room had its own telephone. The drawback -- You couldn't call long distance from the room. I tended to write letters, and the parents called me periodically.

Here's the thing, it WAS a hard schedule.

Complaining about a hard schedule? Only for a damn good reason. Examples:

"I'm getting married that day."

"The doctor won't let me come back to work for another two weeks."

You get the idea. And as for a parent doing the calling, only because of physical incapacity. See above.

I just got an e-mail from Lush telling me that the Atlanta store opens next Thursday. I'm doomed. At least I'll be doomed without having to pay postage.

When I was in college, I called my parents close to every day. Certainly never more than once a day, unless one of them was something like "I just picked up my mail, and I got accepted for that internship! Gotta go to class now, I'll tell you more tonight." Now, I call a few times a week, I guess.

My mother never called or emailed one of my professors. I would have been mortified if she had. I've gotten a few calls and emails from my students' parents, though.

In college, my parents paid for my tuition, housing, food, and books. Junior and senior year I dropped out of meal plan, so my parents put the money that they would have spent on that onto a debit card that I could only use for food. I worked during the summers and tutored during the school year, and senior year I was also a grader for a calculus class.

The "helicopter parents at the office" article: [link]

One thing I've seen a lot of my students doing, and it drives me absolutely nuts, is, when they're at my office hours or meeting with me for help with the classwork, if their cell phone rings, they'll pick it up and tell whoever's calling, "Yeah, I'm meeting with my math TA now, I'll call you back later." This is what voicemail is for! I've had to institute "if your cell phone rings during class, then unless it's a dire emergency, you are not allowed to answer it" rules in my classes, because apparently people don't know this.

(I had a cell phone in college. The only times I ever answered it during class were in the few days after September 11 when I was still waiting on the "they're OK" message on a few people, and once when my mom was in the hospital. All those times, I made a point of sitting near the classroom door because I knew I was expecting a call, and when the phone rang, I went out into the hallway to talk for a minute, then came back into class, and when class was over, I apologized to the professor for disrupting the class. I've had students in my class just sit at their desks and take a call.)

I've had students do that will cell phones in my class. I tell them they have two choices, leave the class and don't come back today, or take the battery out of the cell phone. If they are waiting on a call for a gig or something else, they just have to tell me before the class begins and make sure their phone is on vibrate. I also have the luxury of classes that are usually only 10-12 students.

Just got home from K-Bug's Back to School night. The first topic for each teacher was how parents can contact the teacher and how we can find out what the assignments are. Voice mail, e-mail, class web sites. We were encouraged to contact teachers with ANY questions.

This seems so counter to the discussions here earlier.

This seems so counter to the discussions here earlier.

Well, high school is different than college. I expect much more communication between parents and teachers in high school.

I know. Most of her classes are full of just seniors, so it almost gets parents into bad habits.

K-Bug is engaged enough that I don't really plan on contacting any of them. We did stop in and talk to one of her old teachers. She has asked him to write a letter of recommendation for college and he wants her to give a resume and a copy of her transcript before he will do anything.

I adore your relationship with K-bug, and I don't ever see the two of you becoming one of the really overinvolved dyads that never go independent -- the ones I worry about are the ones where the parents are still writing the kid's resume when s/he's got a Master's degree.