I am also going to incorporate "assclowns" into my vocabulary.

My stepdad will be SO proud!

Also agreeing that Raq makes healthy emotional decisions. All of a sudden, I feel like I'm back editing the Glencoe/McGraw-Hill junior high health text. I kinda miss those days.

Teppy, that bar thing is just weird. What do they think you're going to do?

Seriously! Plus, as pointed out multiple times, it's a fuckin' BAR. How family-friendly does it have to be?

If I lived in Cincy, I'd be happy to stir up shit there on your behalf. Possibly get together with some likeminded folks from my church or something and gather for an evening of friendly drinks and very loud conversation, in excruciating detail, about all the sweaty details of exactly how our (entirely legitimate, created within the bounds of a legal and sacramental monogamous heterosexual union) children were conceived, and exactly what vanilla but sweaty monogamous hijinks we were planning when we went back to our respective family homes.

Because, really, what could be more family friendly than that? And on my way out the door, I'd be sure to pull one of the new owners aside and say brightly and very loudly, "Thank you so much for kicking out those dirty perverts! Now that they and their disturbing tech talk are gone, I feel so much more at ease bringing my friends in here to talk about our vanilla vaginas and our husbands' juicy cocks and how we like to fit them together! All under the watchful loving eye of God, of course! Bless you and your vagina and your husband's cock! Bless you all so very much!"

The more I think about it, the more I want to do it. I've done much more humiliating things at Faire; this'd be a snap.

My mother would kill me if I didn't stay with her when I go out there. Then she would reanimate me and rekill me, just so I got the message, although I am sure she would do it in a loving way. We've stayed with my brother in the Netherlands, but it's because he invited us.. I like having family around, but that's because no one I am related to or any in-laws would ever presume or stay longer than a few days. They all have their own lives, yo.

JZ, I would pay good money to see you do that.

::Loves JZ to pieces::

Joins in with the JZ love-age.

JZ, I would pay good money to see you do that.

If we weren't living on negative income right now, I'd be so tempted. I can easily think of a dozen or so local improv/Faire people who'd be delighted to participate; in fact, I need to not tell them about this, because they can't afford to fly out either and it'll just make them sad to think about the missed opportunity. Squicking straitlaced people half to death is practically a Faire vocation.

Also, huh. My spellcheck is telling me that vaginas is wrong, that I should be spelling it vaginae. I don't think I ever knew before that that was the correct plural (probably because I've never had much occasion to use the plural). Is this yet another obvious thing that everyone but me already knew?

salvation is by faith alone, in the sense that it's impossible to earn your way to heaven by good works or being a nice person

Huh. I guess that's confirmation that I shouldn't suddenly become a born-again/evangelical/that type of Christian? Huh.

Though I guess it's not saying that if you have faith you shouldn't also be a nice person doing good works. But...I remember in Sunday School talking about people who'd never heard of Jesus, and what happened to them? And being told that there were certain principles that even without the Bible you should be able to figure out--be a good person, in other words--and otherwise, if you hadn't had the opportunity, you could probably go to Heaven anyway. If you had the opportunity and turned it down, though, it sounded more chancy, according to the teacher... :)

I am more than a little nervous--even here in my secular private school in liberal LA--that I will be teaching parts of the Bible as literature next month

We did that, in public high school. Though granted, I think it was senior year. But still.

Maybe there was a cut scene with Pantomime God warning the plants not to germinate when his back was turned, and the Angels have to keep shouting at him to turn around.

Hee. Is it wrong to envision Eddie Izzard as God?

land animals perhaps predating land plants

The wikipedia evolution/genesis thing is very interesting, but...how were there land animals before plants? They just hung out on some rocks and ate things from the sea?? How does that work? I'm v. surprised.

The Roman Catholic side of my family finally stopped acting like Protestant marriages, baptisms, and communion don't "count". Though some of them probably do still think it.

Are you kidding me? Of course they don't count! Especially services don't count--if I had a sleepover on a Saturday night, it sure as heck didn't count if I went to church with someone else's family--I still had to go to Mass later that day/evening! Because you have to go to Mass on Sunday, and this johnny-come-lately Protestant stuff Does Not Count.

We were asked tonight to not come back, because the new owners want to maintain a "family" atmosphere.

Oh damn. That sucks. I'd be v. tempted to do a "fuck you, are you going to ban us individually?" thing, but then I'd also be tempted to just leave and say "fuck you, you don't need my money"

it appears that the real goals of their trip were 1) meet their son's fiancee's parents, which he's trying to avoid until the wedding; and 2) dump their freeloading daughter and her baby on us

Oh damn. Go Raq, but sorry that the relationship had to get to that point.

And on my way out the door, I'd be sure to pull one of the new owners aside and say brightly and very loudly, "Thank you so much for kicking out those dirty perverts! Now that they and their disturbing tech talk are gone, I feel so much more at ease bringing my friends in here to talk about our vanilla vaginas and our husbands' juicy cocks and how we like to fit them together! All under the watchful loving eye of God, of course! Bless you and your vagina and your husband's cock! Bless you all so very much!"

OMG, I love JZ. And want to see this happen very much.

Also, huh. My spellcheck is telling me that vaginas is wrong, that I should be spelling it vaginae. I don't think I ever knew before that that was the correct plural (probably because I've never had much occasion to use the plural). Is this yet another obvious thing that everyone but me already knew?

I don't know about that, but I'm suddenly conflating this post with the discussion from Buffy about needing a plural for "Apocalypse" and it's making me laugh and laugh.