Congrats, Joe!!

It occurred to me that this is one of those relationships that takes up a lot of time and effort without doing anything positive for my life, and in fact brings a lot of negative. So I just wrote and told her that they were uninvited and unwelcome here.

Would that everyone had the strength to eliminate the toxic relationships in their lives.

We take for granted that we're going to stay with family when we go to cities where they live--sufficiently that we sometimes get offended if you don't explain why you're not.

HOWEVER, everyone always has the freedom to say "Actually, now's not good"--you don't not ask--you expect the answer to be yes, but it doesn't break the relationship if it's no.

We take for granted that we're going to stay with family when we go to cities where they live--sufficiently that we sometimes get offended if you don't explain why you're not.

I'm the opposite. I prefer not to stay with family, that way, my schedule is my own.

When I went to Chicago this summer, my cousin insisted that I stay with her. It was like a 15 day trip. I went away on the weekends for all of our sanity's sake.

I would *never* assume I could stay with someone that long. If Robin hadn't offered ahead of time, I would have never even asked. That's a lot to ask someone. I'm really sorry that this has all come around to this, Raq. That's so hard. I hope your sister can come to understand your position.

We've had "And she didn't even *mention* staying with me!" tiffs happen. It's almost funny, considering how the rest of the world works.

Of course, I recently had someone invite themselves over with small kids, and won't listen to my rationale for why I don't want small kids staying in my apartment. That's not right. Even though my family assumes, we can always take no for an answer. If we have to stay in hotels and that's too expensive--well, then we don't travel. Cost of doing business.

Gronk.

Happy New Year to those celebrating.

Raq, good for you on that (possibly) painful step.

Tep, that sucks about the bar. Assclowns, indeed.

Emily, I have no idea what happened, but much booze to you.

vw, nice! Yay for coasting.

YAY JOE'S NEW JOB!! WHOOT!!!

I would never assume that I get to stay at someone's place, unless I'm explicitly invited. I have a problem even asking.

Yay, gainful employment for Joe! I wish we could help by calling up and asking about RV parts.

I hate to ask people for anything, much less to stay at their houses.

Teppy, that bar thing is just weird. What do they think you're going to do?

Yay, job-having Joe!

There are supposed to be angle brackets around my tag (lovingly provided by a co-worker) but I haven't had enough coffee to figure out how to make it work. Instead, I'll just up my crankometer.

Congrats to Vortex, it looks like a great house.

Congrats to Joe, also.

Raq, I'm really glad you stood your ground. I see that you mention nothing of telling your sister never to contact you again, only that she is not to come for this visit. It sounds like you did not specifically shut down the lines of communication, but are leaving it to your sister to come to her senses, apologize and learn to have more realistic expectations of you.

I also wonder if her son is aware of and uncomfortable with her boorishness, and that is why he wants to keep his family away from his fiance's family until the big day. If so, smart kid.