I changed my name when we got married last year, and many of my friends were very surprised, considering my politics. I did it because it seemed silly to keep my ex-husband's name hanging around when I was married to someone else. I kept the middle name I chose when I got married the first time, my mother's maiden name. Since I would not have married again at all unless I felt I was a full partner and totally respected, the name choice did not feel political to me--not more than actually marrying did.

My ex-husband took my name when we got married seven years ago. He kept it when we got divorced. Says it's nice to not have to correct people's pronunciation. I don't begrudge him the name, but it feels weird sometimes. I think it gives me a unique understanding of men in similar situations with ex-wives. I don't know...in some odd way it's almost like the name is less mine than it was. Diluted. Which I know is absurd, but I can't quite shake the feeling.

Her eyes flew open and she squealed, Really? Is he a hairdresser?

I bask in validation! Also, if you want close attention to detail talk to a fetishist. I'm sure The Boy could give a dissertation on rope maintenance.

As for the name change, I will just note that such symbolic gestures take their meaning from context. That is, you can't say that you lack integration just from rejecting your old name. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is make a break and recreate yourself. Everybody does it many times over in their lives. You're not beholden to hold on to a damaged version of yourself.

Starting over can be the healthiest thing ever.

Coffee: oh crap, Hil. I'm so sorry. Tons of ~ma for your mom.

My school website is being wonky tonight. I want to go to bed, but my professor said no late assignments. What to do.

I'll probably take TCG's last name when we decide to marry. We plan on having kids, and I want to have the same last name as my kids. It's silly, but when my mother remarried it upset me that we didn't have the same last name anymore.

Health~ma to your mom, Hil.

I kept my last name. After all, I had so much time invested in spelling it for people, plus it was my byline.

Your chosen name is your name. for whatever reason you chose to take it, so it is you. An old name may have always been the wrong name, or it is what you were, not what you are.

A few times I 've tried to go to Elizabeth, but it just doesn't work. and I have never been able to come up with a good on line name, because I can't find a comfortable name.

My last name - same as it ever was. but then again, I've know DH since elementary school, so my last name is part of how he has always known me. I think if we had wanted kids, something different might have happened, but what, I don't know.

That's...descriptive.

Woah. Ugh. Waugh.

Glad to have been of assistance.

My brother and SIL decided to change their name to something different when their daughter was born. It really hurt my dad's feelings, my bro is the only son of an only son. I have a pretty common last name, so it's not like the name died out or anything. I have always thought that I would use my maiden name as my middle name professionally, so I would be Vortex LastName MOD*LastName, but technically, Vortex MODLastName

*MOD=Man of my Dreams

Vortex, did they end up doing the namechange? Last I heard a few years ago, you were telling me they were going to change it to...his first name??

I changed my name when we got married last year, and many of my friends were very surprised, considering my politics.

Ack! You are not the name I've been thinking of you as! My world view is...not terribly altered. Says the woman with a pseudonym, talking to someone previously known by a pseudonym! :)